Bull and Bush

I know some of you might be curious as to how I am handling being a minority so I thought I might discuss some of that today including a disappointing moment I had at the bar Friday night. As I stated before the people here are extremely friendly which makes it easy to enjoy but you do have the occasional few people who stare at you and to be quite honest it makes you feel uncomfortable. You do not really know what it feels like to be a minority until you are in their shoes. I lived in Los Angeles for five months and it was full of many different types of races and ethnic groups but I have never been put in a situation where I have felt out numbered or out of place. When people here give me a smug look I usually smile or say dumela (hello). I feel it is my duty as a representative of the U.S. and as an international student to project a polite imagine. I think to myself that if people only encounter one American in their lifetime and it’s me I want it to be a pleasant experience and think of us as a happy culture. I will keep this in mind when I start my volunteer work tomorrow. I know many people in Athens and from home that stereotype countries, cultures, races and different types of ethnicity based on one bad experience. I don’t ever want to be that one incident to someone else so I try my best to stay positive and upbeat.

This could have all changed Friday night if I let it. Everyone from the program decided to go out to Bull and Bush, a local bar to grab some drinks and loosen up. I made the mistake of walking to the bathroom alone, as I moved toward the crowded urinal to take care of some business a local stared right at me, stepped on my foot and ran straight into me on purpose. I simply smiled and apologized even though I know I was not in the wrong. He stared at me for about ten second then walked over to his other drunken friend and yelled some profanity and pointed at me. At this time I felt scared as they began to turn back towards me so I felt it was best to leave the restroom as fast as possible and return back to my group. The rest of the night I was quite and scared so I kept to myself and only told a two people what had happened. Later on I shared this with my group and I became quite emotional and choked up. This is a new feeling for me. I have felt so safe and comfortable with the people of Botswana for the first five days of this trip should I let this one incident put my experience in jeopardy.

I know many people who stereotype or label a race or ethnic group upon one or two bad experiences and I have seen what this can do to a mans heart. I have seen the pain that sticks, the hatred that boils and the long lasting impact some people carry with them through an experience like this. I made a decision that night as I lay in bed wondering why it happened to me; the decision was that I was glad it happened to me. If it did not happen to me I would not be able to relate to everyone else in this world at one point or another. I suddenly thought back to a moment in time when I thought it would be funny to repeat a racist joke or point out someone else’s differences and I pictured myself in their shoes. We have all done things we are unproud of or wish we haven’t said or done. Granted this was probably during an immature stage I was going through or I might not have been exposed to different races yet but for the first time in my life I was on a level playing field and felt the fear many people live with everyday. It made me think what do kids of a non-white race in Athens think when they walk down the street or join a fraternity or social organization and people stare and give them all the attention knowing it’s not all positive. I can say being a minority has come with a side order of paranoia. “Life is tough, but I am tougher”. This quote reminds me of all the adversity I face and how to turn them into a positive. I will take this experience and use it to educate the people around me, to make a difference and help people realize their ignorance.