Thursday at Lifeline and Convo with Buemo

I haven’t written in my Journal/blog for a few days now. I find it very hard to balance time to document everything that is significant or if I should be out experiencing everything while I can. The main purpose behind keeping this is so those one day I can look back and read about my experience here and relive the moments. I feel myself changing but I can’t explain it. I feel like people will have to do that for me.

I want to talk a little about my work day on Thursday then a little from Friday and the weekend. When we arrived Thursday we were just getting ready to begin our counseling course. As usual we started a half hour late but I am convinced that the word LATE does not exist in the Botswana dictionary. I was a bit nervous because this week I had to expose myself to the group which meant pretty much sitting in front of twelve strangers and confess things that are known to others and things I keep private. By doing this it is an attempt to have others gives us feedback of how they perceive us and to tell us things we might not know about ourselves. I spoke about where I was from, some of my fears and where I want to go and where I am now as a person. The most troubling things I spoke about was how I viewed education then and how I view it now. I mentioned how I graduated high school with a 2.5 GPA and a whopping 17 ACT score. This alone made me have low self-esteem and still affects me to some extent this day but like I said I have changed my view on education. When I was seventeen and naive I just wanted to get by, I never wanted to learn about anything. I was interested in sports, girls and having fun. I have learned to balance all of these into the man I want to be today. I’m not a dumb high school kid with a low GPA and crappy test scores. I’m a masters student with two degrees who joined an honors fraternity the week before he left to visit Africa and help change those around him for the better. Sure I still make grammatical errors, use a small words but I dream big. It was probable to say my parents never thought I would turn out the way I have. I plan on getting my PhD eventually the only question I am uncertain of is what type of knowledge I would like to share with others counseling, healthcare or anything else that may come to mind. I felt nervous at first when I spoke to the group but time flew as I ended up speaking for a half hour uninterrupted. After I was done there was time for asking questions or giving me feedback. The group was quick to address that I am very intelligent and that I need to overcome my negative thoughts of which I use to be and look at what I have accomplished and where I am going. If this trip has taught me anything it’s that I have succeeded and that I need to dream even bigger. Last night I had a conversation with Buemo, a fellow worker at lifeline, and he told me he was afraid of dying. I had to stop and think about it for a second because if there’s one thing I am not afraid of it’s not death. I am afraid of not living, not experiencing all life has to offer. I want to look back and have no woulda, coulda shoulda remarks. If you let fear control your life you’re never going to get the results you want. That’s why I want to go shark diving, sky diving, travel to wine vineyards, go on game drives and eat all the exotic food I can.

I told Buemo he should not fear death because the fact of dying motivates people to live more. I explained being mortal drives us to want to experience more. Think about it. If everyone were to live on we would put off everything we could be doing right now. I love when people tell me they want to do something before they die, I usually tell them they better do it now because tomorrow is never promised today. Michael Jackson passed away two days ago from a heart attack at age fifty. When my children ask me one day where was I when Michael Jackson died I can say Gaborone, Botswana. I also got the privilege of celebrating my 24^th birthday in Africa. I called to make reservations at Grand Palm resort for twenty four people. It was a lovely dinner, the food was amazing, my new friends and professors paid for my dinner and I got to gamble a little bit. When I called to make the reservation a lady asked if it was a special occasion. I told her year we are celebrating a birthday and then she asked if they would like a cake and be sang to, of course I replied. Then she asked who was the birthday for and I told them its for me. The lady on the other end of the phone laughed hysterically for a moment and then she said Happy Birthday. I told this story to the group and everyone laughed but its no surprise to me that its my birthday and I want a piece of cake and to celebrate. We went out to a club afterwards for some dancing got a few drinks. I am very thankful to be in good company and most of all to have Mandy with me on my special occasion.

Wow I got a little off topic let me get back to Thursday. I just want to mention real quick that as I type this I am sitting on the dirt propped up against a tree waiting for my clothes to air dry since we had to hand wash them yesterday and I ran out of sunlight. A kid just passed me wearing an Ohio State t-shirt and I stopped him to ask if is a Buckeye fan, he didn’t really understand me for a second but then he was able to explain that his brother attends Ohio State University. It’s amazing how small this world can be. We are almost nine thousand miles apart yet we find something in common, his brother lives 15 minutes from me back home. As Jen and Buemo gave their presentations I learned a little about some internal thoughts they are constantly dealing with. I understand how fortunate I am that I have overcome most of the negative thoughts I have encountered in my past. One person in the group even mentioned that their girlfriend of five years recently became pregnant and he found out that the child she was carrying was that of his best friend. I was very sympathetic to his situation and how hard it must be for him to disclose this information to us but the support around him will help him to cope with the situation. After our counseling course we went to a GBEM meeting at a local school. GBEM stands for Girls Boys Education Movement. Their goal was to empower young girls and boys to make better decisions. To help them understand the decisions they make will impact the social norms of the people around them. HIV/AIDS is a very complex epidemic. The only way of changing the present behavior of the majority of their society is to start with the children. A lot of these kids are getting the education they need but not learning the morals and values they need from their parents. They had counselor and teachers from about eight different schools there and the goal of the meeting was to come up with a plan to structure how to apply the GBEM to their schools. One thing I was very impressed with during this presentation is that this program is being spear headed by college students. Their main motivation is positive change in the community. I am impressed with how much they know about the subject and their confidence to lead at such a young age. Well I must go now but I will finish everything I didn’t cover tonight and post it later so check it out.