My 24th Birthday

Saturday was my 24^th birthday. Where have the years gone?

If theres one thing you should know about it me its that I love celebrating my birthday so I wanted to make sure I did it up right in Africa. We hung out all day doing laundry and visiting Main Mall to buy some gifts. I treated myself to a Botswana t-shirt and a little statue. After that I decided to hand wash my laundry because its been two weeks and I needed some fresh clothes to wear to work. For dinner we went to the Grand Palm Resort as I mentioned early ate a wonderful dinner and had live music. The entertainer was very creative and amusing with his music. He played Rihanna “Under my Umbrella”, John Denver “Country Road” and Happy Birthday to me. While we were waiting for the bus to come pick us up I decided to gamble a little bit more and while we were there Clare was approached by a middle aged Chinese woman who was shocked by her beauty. She pulled her around the casino by hand desperately trying to find her husband so she could introduce her. She kept talking about how pretty her body, hair and smile were.

It was quite unusual and fascinating so I took it upon myself to ask her if I should get a picture. By this time Clare was being pushed to her limit of kindness but she knew the lady meant well. I took a picture which she wanted to see about six different times and then she left for about ten minutes. She came back with her husband and demanded I take another photo and email it to her. Its official, Clare has her own fan club now. One of the most thoughtful gifts I recieved was from our guide Karabo which was a Botswana Jersey with my Setswanna name on the back "Thabo" which means always happy.

The night was amazing and I could not imagine spending my birthday in Africa any better way.

Meeting in the Mountains

My Boss Vicki, Jen and I

When Jen and I arrived Friday to work we had to be there a half hour early which was alright but we did not know what was in store for us that day. When we arrived at the office our supervisor Vicki made it aware that we would be traveling to Mokolodi for a meeting about HIV/Aids awareness. We weren’t very enthused but remained open minded. I became very ecstatic when we pulled up to the Mokolodi Game Reserve and learned that our meeting was on the top of a mountain on a Game Reserve. We had to take a twenty minute Game Drive to get there and ended up seeing an Ostrich, Antelope, Warthog, Impala and Judo (not sure about the spelling but it resembled a buck with two very long twisty horns.) The driver was very nice and allowed us time to stop and take pictures.When we got to the top of the mountain to “World View” where the conference was being held we were left breathless.

We could see for miles, mountains, Gaborone Dam, wildlife walking around the Reservation and also rivers, houses, lakes and neighboring cities. I forget how high they said we were but the temperature differed about fifteen degrees from the bottom of the mountain to the top. I don’t know why but I decided to only wear a black dress t-shirt and my dress paints. I was freezing the entire time I was there.

Half way during the lecture I left the conference room to go find a gift shop to buy a jacket or sweat shirt and during my search I ran into a worker who asked what I was looking for. When I told him I couldn’t stand the coldness he offered me his jacket to wear and told me the gift shop is too expensive and over priced. That is just how friendly these people are that they are willing to give you the shirt off their back and ask for nothing in return. I have friends in the United States who find it troubling and provoking to give a homeless man their left over food. What does this say about how we treat strangers in the U.S., fend for yourself is what the social norm is. We are a giving country in the large scheme of things but I feel like it’s the little things that we take for granted. I plan on changing this part of my everyday life when I get back.

I want to volunteer more, learn more, teach more, inspire more and get involved more. Today when I was making my breakfast tea the back of my sugar packet had a quote on it “Be the change you want to see in the world”. This means if you want the planet to be healthier recycle. If you think there should be less homeless don’t criticize and ridicule them donate, volunteer learn why they are homeless and help them to over come it. So many times I think about how people call themselves Christians yet they are so worried about not having so they forget to give to others. Healthcare is an important example, why should people with money pay a higher premium for others who don’t have jobs to receive healthcare. Isn’t well-being a divine right? Do you think Jesus would say lets help the poor man so long as it doesn’t take away from what I have earned? Sure there are going to be people who abuse the privilege but let God deal with them in his own way don’t over generalize the poverty population because of a few. Stay open minded to the possibility and do your research.

During the conference there were many issues which were brought up that I could not understand because questions were being asked and answered in Setswana. The overall purpose of the meeting was to promote the question “Who is in your sexual network”. They want to get people thinking on a larger scheme of things. I was a little disturbed because they want you to be more aware of your partner and what they might be hiding. I was disturbed at how they presented the information. They spoke as though you should trust less and observe more of what your partner is doing. I don’t know how to tackle the rising problem of HIV/Aids but I don’t think not trusting your partner is the way to approach it. Another problem they have is promoting condom use but not how to put it on. You don’t just give a pilot a plane and don’t teach him how to fly it.

After the presentations we ate dinner overlooking the beautiful scenery. We had to wait for about an hour until a jeep came to get us but I didn’t mind. When we left Mokolodi we stopped by Game city so I could buy a jacket seeing as how it was very chilly here in the morning and evenings. During the day it got up to about 70 degrees and low of 30’s. This wasn’t how I predicted African weather to be like. It even snowed in Johannesburg, South Africa on Friday. From Game City Vicki took us to her house so that we could see where she lived. Jen and I were both shocked to see that she lived in a very large and well decorated house. She introduced her son who is about seventeen and lives in a little guest house in the back of property which has its own living room, bathroom and kitchen. The inside of here house was very eloquent and she even had her own house maid which I guess is becoming more common in Southern Africa.

Soccer

A big change I have made from the time I have left the U.S. until now is the lack of physical activity. I know they told us to continue our interest however I felt I needed a break from lifting and that I want to see this as a time of relaxing. However Karabo did bring back a passion from my childhood when he asked us to play football the second night we were here. The first time we played I was very rusty, I couldn’t shoot, dribble or pass very well. I notice every time I play more I begin getting my skill back. Now I can actually steal the ball from Karabo, dribble through defenders and can aim with accuracy. I forgot how much I loved the sport growing up and how good I was at it. Growing up it was my favorite sport and I was better at it than any other I played. I quit playing when began junior high and I remember almost trying out for the team my senior year of high school but I quickly through out the possibility when I heard rumor that the head coach would not start anyone who hasn’t played the previous year. Looking back I regret this decision and I should have faced the obstacle. When we play football here there is usually ten or twelve people from our study abroad group that play along with many other students around campus. I’ve met people from UK, Sweden, Norway, Finland, U.S. (even Ohio), Zimbabwe and locals from Botswana.

I find this very fascinating because the sport is so popular everywhere but the United States. I think this has to do with the large variety of sports in our country and that we believe in sports being linked to a season. Last night we experienced history as we watched the U.S. play Brazil in the Confederation Cup final. I was disappointed that we were unable to go seeing as how it was an epic event for us to even be playing in it for the first time. The U.S. which is ranked 14^th in the world upset Egypt and then Spain (#1 team in the world) to advance to the final. The U.S. was up 2-0 at half time but could not hold off the five time world champs to take home the glory. All morning people have talked to me about the game because they know I am from the States and they acknowledge how amazing their effort was. Our group enjoys getting out and doing something active so I can definitely see us playing a lot more soccer throughout our stay here.

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Thursday at Lifeline and Convo with Buemo

I haven’t written in my Journal/blog for a few days now. I find it very hard to balance time to document everything that is significant or if I should be out experiencing everything while I can. The main purpose behind keeping this is so those one day I can look back and read about my experience here and relive the moments. I feel myself changing but I can’t explain it. I feel like people will have to do that for me.

I want to talk a little about my work day on Thursday then a little from Friday and the weekend. When we arrived Thursday we were just getting ready to begin our counseling course. As usual we started a half hour late but I am convinced that the word LATE does not exist in the Botswana dictionary. I was a bit nervous because this week I had to expose myself to the group which meant pretty much sitting in front of twelve strangers and confess things that are known to others and things I keep private. By doing this it is an attempt to have others gives us feedback of how they perceive us and to tell us things we might not know about ourselves. I spoke about where I was from, some of my fears and where I want to go and where I am now as a person. The most troubling things I spoke about was how I viewed education then and how I view it now. I mentioned how I graduated high school with a 2.5 GPA and a whopping 17 ACT score. This alone made me have low self-esteem and still affects me to some extent this day but like I said I have changed my view on education. When I was seventeen and naive I just wanted to get by, I never wanted to learn about anything. I was interested in sports, girls and having fun. I have learned to balance all of these into the man I want to be today. I’m not a dumb high school kid with a low GPA and crappy test scores. I’m a masters student with two degrees who joined an honors fraternity the week before he left to visit Africa and help change those around him for the better. Sure I still make grammatical errors, use a small words but I dream big. It was probable to say my parents never thought I would turn out the way I have. I plan on getting my PhD eventually the only question I am uncertain of is what type of knowledge I would like to share with others counseling, healthcare or anything else that may come to mind. I felt nervous at first when I spoke to the group but time flew as I ended up speaking for a half hour uninterrupted. After I was done there was time for asking questions or giving me feedback. The group was quick to address that I am very intelligent and that I need to overcome my negative thoughts of which I use to be and look at what I have accomplished and where I am going. If this trip has taught me anything it’s that I have succeeded and that I need to dream even bigger. Last night I had a conversation with Buemo, a fellow worker at lifeline, and he told me he was afraid of dying. I had to stop and think about it for a second because if there’s one thing I am not afraid of it’s not death. I am afraid of not living, not experiencing all life has to offer. I want to look back and have no woulda, coulda shoulda remarks. If you let fear control your life you’re never going to get the results you want. That’s why I want to go shark diving, sky diving, travel to wine vineyards, go on game drives and eat all the exotic food I can.

I told Buemo he should not fear death because the fact of dying motivates people to live more. I explained being mortal drives us to want to experience more. Think about it. If everyone were to live on we would put off everything we could be doing right now. I love when people tell me they want to do something before they die, I usually tell them they better do it now because tomorrow is never promised today. Michael Jackson passed away two days ago from a heart attack at age fifty. When my children ask me one day where was I when Michael Jackson died I can say Gaborone, Botswana. I also got the privilege of celebrating my 24^th birthday in Africa. I called to make reservations at Grand Palm resort for twenty four people. It was a lovely dinner, the food was amazing, my new friends and professors paid for my dinner and I got to gamble a little bit. When I called to make the reservation a lady asked if it was a special occasion. I told her year we are celebrating a birthday and then she asked if they would like a cake and be sang to, of course I replied. Then she asked who was the birthday for and I told them its for me. The lady on the other end of the phone laughed hysterically for a moment and then she said Happy Birthday. I told this story to the group and everyone laughed but its no surprise to me that its my birthday and I want a piece of cake and to celebrate. We went out to a club afterwards for some dancing got a few drinks. I am very thankful to be in good company and most of all to have Mandy with me on my special occasion.

Wow I got a little off topic let me get back to Thursday. I just want to mention real quick that as I type this I am sitting on the dirt propped up against a tree waiting for my clothes to air dry since we had to hand wash them yesterday and I ran out of sunlight. A kid just passed me wearing an Ohio State t-shirt and I stopped him to ask if is a Buckeye fan, he didn’t really understand me for a second but then he was able to explain that his brother attends Ohio State University. It’s amazing how small this world can be. We are almost nine thousand miles apart yet we find something in common, his brother lives 15 minutes from me back home. As Jen and Buemo gave their presentations I learned a little about some internal thoughts they are constantly dealing with. I understand how fortunate I am that I have overcome most of the negative thoughts I have encountered in my past. One person in the group even mentioned that their girlfriend of five years recently became pregnant and he found out that the child she was carrying was that of his best friend. I was very sympathetic to his situation and how hard it must be for him to disclose this information to us but the support around him will help him to cope with the situation. After our counseling course we went to a GBEM meeting at a local school. GBEM stands for Girls Boys Education Movement. Their goal was to empower young girls and boys to make better decisions. To help them understand the decisions they make will impact the social norms of the people around them. HIV/AIDS is a very complex epidemic. The only way of changing the present behavior of the majority of their society is to start with the children. A lot of these kids are getting the education they need but not learning the morals and values they need from their parents. They had counselor and teachers from about eight different schools there and the goal of the meeting was to come up with a plan to structure how to apply the GBEM to their schools. One thing I was very impressed with during this presentation is that this program is being spear headed by college students. Their main motivation is positive change in the community. I am impressed with how much they know about the subject and their confidence to lead at such a young age. Well I must go now but I will finish everything I didn’t cover tonight and post it later so check it out.

Cultural Differences

I know I had already spoke about some of the cultural differences as far as politics, rules and transportation but I wanted to list a few more than I found interesting that people might want to know about. Botswana is 71% Christians, they believe in the bible and that Jesus was a holy savior. They feel very strongly that divorce is not the answer to a failed relationship. They have universal healthcare and education here. Everyone who needs healthcare can walk into a hospital and receive medical treatment no questions asked. You also can opt out of doing this and decide to pay for private care. Another huge factor that I find important to our differences of intellect is that education here is free and those students with the highest GPA in secondary school (high school) will be awarded with free tuition to the University of their Choice. Over 90% of students at the University of Botswana receive free tuition from the government. This also includes free dorm, meal plan and a stipend for books and living. If they decide to study abroad the government will also pay for all accommodations. There are a funny concept award people who try the hardest to educate themselves.

If there is one thing I have learned about the people of Botswana it is that they are very intelligent and are constantly seeking more knowledge. I feel as though most Americans take advantage of their education, I speak from experience because I was one of them. If this system were imposed by our government parents might encourage their kids to take their education more seriously and children might see more benefits to achieving. I met a few students from the Kansas State University and they are volunteering at Ol Nomiladi which is the poorest village in Gaborone. They told us that the teachers did not show one day and that it was up to them to teach the class. As they entered the class they asked the kids what they wanted to learn and they said “anything, teach us all you know”. I remember when I was in junior and high school I would make up fake excuses along with my friends so that we could skip out on a day of school and just watch television that is not an option for these kids. Their only means of survival is their education. Mandy spoke of a debate at the school she was volunteering at and described that kids as high achieving and very smart. She said they made cases for how our world could survive without drinking water because of our technological advances. She said she could see this particular student being a politician some day.

First day of Botswana Lifeline

Today was Jen and I first day at Botswana Lifeline and we had no idea what to expect. The anticipation was building up as we waited for the bus to come. When we arrived at Lifeline we were greeted by Ruth and Vicky who were two of the counselors. They asked us what we would like to participate in during our volunteer time and we explained how we wanted to visit a women’s shelter, hospice center and a local school or orphanage. I soon learned that hospice here is different from the term hospice back home. Hospice in Botswana operates more like an adult day care at home and also a hospital. Patients come and go and are free to go home at any time. I found it interesting that they do not have a nursing home system for their elders and that they are expected to be taken care of by their sons and daughters. I find it common in the United States that older adult population would prefer nursing homes or assisted livings so they do not become a burden upon their children.

We were allowed to join a class that was taking a closed counseling course that was already in their fourth week of lessons. This is hard to do because most closed groups do not let new outsiders in because they are already bonding as a group and have begun to develop their group dynamics so we felt it was an honor to join so late in their progress. We were greeted by the group and they went on with their lesson. They were going over a homework project of the Joharies window. Each person in the group of twelve went up in front of the class and presented a box they hand designed. Many of them had quotes they live by, colors that remind them of a past time or pictures of family. Many of the stories were deep and personal and I was moved by some of the things that had happened to them and amazed how they overcame the odds against them. I am glad we were a part of Botswana Lifeline now because we were experiencing the stories first hand of the people who have it the hardest. I felt proud that many of the people in the group were able to be where they today now that I know their background. Some overcame poverty, abuse, abandonment, lack of education, divorce and loss of loved ones. One lady even mentioned how she lost her father and then her two brothers the following year and how it felt as though it was a yearly thing to lose a family member and they had to deal with the grieving process on a yearly basis. Another woman mentioned how she had to steal a pair of her sister’s daughter’s shoes to sell so that she could afford a pair for herself.

All of these stories were deep and heart felt and forced me to come to a realization that these things happen to great people who sometimes cannot control the things around them. I find the hardest part of counseling for me will be people who are stuck and need help however help is not available. The stories became realities the moment people described their loved ones then passed around recent pictures of them before their passing, or a photo of a ideal perfect family that has fell apart. One woman broke to tears describing her love for her husband and kids and how they have left her broke and alone. I was a bit overwhelmed with the high emotion in the room but I was able to understand their need for being where they were, in a room with other people who needed support. One idea I found very neat among the group of young and middle age adults is that they wanted to meet for an extra day outside the scheduled events to organize a skill teaching day. Each student would describe each skill they have and explain how it works or is played to the group. One member suggested she will teach us how to hypnotize people, another said she would teach us yoga, there were many more examples; cricket, yoga, rugby, ect. I am excited to learn about all these new skills, techniques and games. I love this idea of people wanting to interact more and taking more time to learn about each other and to learn from each other.

I feel that television, internet and the fast pace of the U.S.A. takes away from a lot of this. Their way of life here seems so simply yet satisfying. I realize now that I would rather be doing than watching. I’d rather go outside and learn to play a game of cricket than watch a 15 minute how to video while I check my email or face book on my laptop. These are all attributes I hope to take back with me and live a simpler and more satisfying life. I feel more encouraged to not have a phone by my side at all times and when I go somewhere I will begin leaving it at home so when I’m at work I CAN FOCUS ON WORK and not be impatient to receive a text or call someone back.