Thursday at Lifeline and Convo with Buemo

I haven’t written in my Journal/blog for a few days now. I find it very hard to balance time to document everything that is significant or if I should be out experiencing everything while I can. The main purpose behind keeping this is so those one day I can look back and read about my experience here and relive the moments. I feel myself changing but I can’t explain it. I feel like people will have to do that for me.

I want to talk a little about my work day on Thursday then a little from Friday and the weekend. When we arrived Thursday we were just getting ready to begin our counseling course. As usual we started a half hour late but I am convinced that the word LATE does not exist in the Botswana dictionary. I was a bit nervous because this week I had to expose myself to the group which meant pretty much sitting in front of twelve strangers and confess things that are known to others and things I keep private. By doing this it is an attempt to have others gives us feedback of how they perceive us and to tell us things we might not know about ourselves. I spoke about where I was from, some of my fears and where I want to go and where I am now as a person. The most troubling things I spoke about was how I viewed education then and how I view it now. I mentioned how I graduated high school with a 2.5 GPA and a whopping 17 ACT score. This alone made me have low self-esteem and still affects me to some extent this day but like I said I have changed my view on education. When I was seventeen and naive I just wanted to get by, I never wanted to learn about anything. I was interested in sports, girls and having fun. I have learned to balance all of these into the man I want to be today. I’m not a dumb high school kid with a low GPA and crappy test scores. I’m a masters student with two degrees who joined an honors fraternity the week before he left to visit Africa and help change those around him for the better. Sure I still make grammatical errors, use a small words but I dream big. It was probable to say my parents never thought I would turn out the way I have. I plan on getting my PhD eventually the only question I am uncertain of is what type of knowledge I would like to share with others counseling, healthcare or anything else that may come to mind. I felt nervous at first when I spoke to the group but time flew as I ended up speaking for a half hour uninterrupted. After I was done there was time for asking questions or giving me feedback. The group was quick to address that I am very intelligent and that I need to overcome my negative thoughts of which I use to be and look at what I have accomplished and where I am going. If this trip has taught me anything it’s that I have succeeded and that I need to dream even bigger. Last night I had a conversation with Buemo, a fellow worker at lifeline, and he told me he was afraid of dying. I had to stop and think about it for a second because if there’s one thing I am not afraid of it’s not death. I am afraid of not living, not experiencing all life has to offer. I want to look back and have no woulda, coulda shoulda remarks. If you let fear control your life you’re never going to get the results you want. That’s why I want to go shark diving, sky diving, travel to wine vineyards, go on game drives and eat all the exotic food I can.

I told Buemo he should not fear death because the fact of dying motivates people to live more. I explained being mortal drives us to want to experience more. Think about it. If everyone were to live on we would put off everything we could be doing right now. I love when people tell me they want to do something before they die, I usually tell them they better do it now because tomorrow is never promised today. Michael Jackson passed away two days ago from a heart attack at age fifty. When my children ask me one day where was I when Michael Jackson died I can say Gaborone, Botswana. I also got the privilege of celebrating my 24^th birthday in Africa. I called to make reservations at Grand Palm resort for twenty four people. It was a lovely dinner, the food was amazing, my new friends and professors paid for my dinner and I got to gamble a little bit. When I called to make the reservation a lady asked if it was a special occasion. I told her year we are celebrating a birthday and then she asked if they would like a cake and be sang to, of course I replied. Then she asked who was the birthday for and I told them its for me. The lady on the other end of the phone laughed hysterically for a moment and then she said Happy Birthday. I told this story to the group and everyone laughed but its no surprise to me that its my birthday and I want a piece of cake and to celebrate. We went out to a club afterwards for some dancing got a few drinks. I am very thankful to be in good company and most of all to have Mandy with me on my special occasion.

Wow I got a little off topic let me get back to Thursday. I just want to mention real quick that as I type this I am sitting on the dirt propped up against a tree waiting for my clothes to air dry since we had to hand wash them yesterday and I ran out of sunlight. A kid just passed me wearing an Ohio State t-shirt and I stopped him to ask if is a Buckeye fan, he didn’t really understand me for a second but then he was able to explain that his brother attends Ohio State University. It’s amazing how small this world can be. We are almost nine thousand miles apart yet we find something in common, his brother lives 15 minutes from me back home. As Jen and Buemo gave their presentations I learned a little about some internal thoughts they are constantly dealing with. I understand how fortunate I am that I have overcome most of the negative thoughts I have encountered in my past. One person in the group even mentioned that their girlfriend of five years recently became pregnant and he found out that the child she was carrying was that of his best friend. I was very sympathetic to his situation and how hard it must be for him to disclose this information to us but the support around him will help him to cope with the situation. After our counseling course we went to a GBEM meeting at a local school. GBEM stands for Girls Boys Education Movement. Their goal was to empower young girls and boys to make better decisions. To help them understand the decisions they make will impact the social norms of the people around them. HIV/AIDS is a very complex epidemic. The only way of changing the present behavior of the majority of their society is to start with the children. A lot of these kids are getting the education they need but not learning the morals and values they need from their parents. They had counselor and teachers from about eight different schools there and the goal of the meeting was to come up with a plan to structure how to apply the GBEM to their schools. One thing I was very impressed with during this presentation is that this program is being spear headed by college students. Their main motivation is positive change in the community. I am impressed with how much they know about the subject and their confidence to lead at such a young age. Well I must go now but I will finish everything I didn’t cover tonight and post it later so check it out.

Cultural Differences

I know I had already spoke about some of the cultural differences as far as politics, rules and transportation but I wanted to list a few more than I found interesting that people might want to know about. Botswana is 71% Christians, they believe in the bible and that Jesus was a holy savior. They feel very strongly that divorce is not the answer to a failed relationship. They have universal healthcare and education here. Everyone who needs healthcare can walk into a hospital and receive medical treatment no questions asked. You also can opt out of doing this and decide to pay for private care. Another huge factor that I find important to our differences of intellect is that education here is free and those students with the highest GPA in secondary school (high school) will be awarded with free tuition to the University of their Choice. Over 90% of students at the University of Botswana receive free tuition from the government. This also includes free dorm, meal plan and a stipend for books and living. If they decide to study abroad the government will also pay for all accommodations. There are a funny concept award people who try the hardest to educate themselves.

If there is one thing I have learned about the people of Botswana it is that they are very intelligent and are constantly seeking more knowledge. I feel as though most Americans take advantage of their education, I speak from experience because I was one of them. If this system were imposed by our government parents might encourage their kids to take their education more seriously and children might see more benefits to achieving. I met a few students from the Kansas State University and they are volunteering at Ol Nomiladi which is the poorest village in Gaborone. They told us that the teachers did not show one day and that it was up to them to teach the class. As they entered the class they asked the kids what they wanted to learn and they said “anything, teach us all you know”. I remember when I was in junior and high school I would make up fake excuses along with my friends so that we could skip out on a day of school and just watch television that is not an option for these kids. Their only means of survival is their education. Mandy spoke of a debate at the school she was volunteering at and described that kids as high achieving and very smart. She said they made cases for how our world could survive without drinking water because of our technological advances. She said she could see this particular student being a politician some day.

First day of Botswana Lifeline

Today was Jen and I first day at Botswana Lifeline and we had no idea what to expect. The anticipation was building up as we waited for the bus to come. When we arrived at Lifeline we were greeted by Ruth and Vicky who were two of the counselors. They asked us what we would like to participate in during our volunteer time and we explained how we wanted to visit a women’s shelter, hospice center and a local school or orphanage. I soon learned that hospice here is different from the term hospice back home. Hospice in Botswana operates more like an adult day care at home and also a hospital. Patients come and go and are free to go home at any time. I found it interesting that they do not have a nursing home system for their elders and that they are expected to be taken care of by their sons and daughters. I find it common in the United States that older adult population would prefer nursing homes or assisted livings so they do not become a burden upon their children.

We were allowed to join a class that was taking a closed counseling course that was already in their fourth week of lessons. This is hard to do because most closed groups do not let new outsiders in because they are already bonding as a group and have begun to develop their group dynamics so we felt it was an honor to join so late in their progress. We were greeted by the group and they went on with their lesson. They were going over a homework project of the Joharies window. Each person in the group of twelve went up in front of the class and presented a box they hand designed. Many of them had quotes they live by, colors that remind them of a past time or pictures of family. Many of the stories were deep and personal and I was moved by some of the things that had happened to them and amazed how they overcame the odds against them. I am glad we were a part of Botswana Lifeline now because we were experiencing the stories first hand of the people who have it the hardest. I felt proud that many of the people in the group were able to be where they today now that I know their background. Some overcame poverty, abuse, abandonment, lack of education, divorce and loss of loved ones. One lady even mentioned how she lost her father and then her two brothers the following year and how it felt as though it was a yearly thing to lose a family member and they had to deal with the grieving process on a yearly basis. Another woman mentioned how she had to steal a pair of her sister’s daughter’s shoes to sell so that she could afford a pair for herself.

All of these stories were deep and heart felt and forced me to come to a realization that these things happen to great people who sometimes cannot control the things around them. I find the hardest part of counseling for me will be people who are stuck and need help however help is not available. The stories became realities the moment people described their loved ones then passed around recent pictures of them before their passing, or a photo of a ideal perfect family that has fell apart. One woman broke to tears describing her love for her husband and kids and how they have left her broke and alone. I was a bit overwhelmed with the high emotion in the room but I was able to understand their need for being where they were, in a room with other people who needed support. One idea I found very neat among the group of young and middle age adults is that they wanted to meet for an extra day outside the scheduled events to organize a skill teaching day. Each student would describe each skill they have and explain how it works or is played to the group. One member suggested she will teach us how to hypnotize people, another said she would teach us yoga, there were many more examples; cricket, yoga, rugby, ect. I am excited to learn about all these new skills, techniques and games. I love this idea of people wanting to interact more and taking more time to learn about each other and to learn from each other.

I feel that television, internet and the fast pace of the U.S.A. takes away from a lot of this. Their way of life here seems so simply yet satisfying. I realize now that I would rather be doing than watching. I’d rather go outside and learn to play a game of cricket than watch a 15 minute how to video while I check my email or face book on my laptop. These are all attributes I hope to take back with me and live a simpler and more satisfying life. I feel more encouraged to not have a phone by my side at all times and when I go somewhere I will begin leaving it at home so when I’m at work I CAN FOCUS ON WORK and not be impatient to receive a text or call someone back.

Bull and Bush

I know some of you might be curious as to how I am handling being a minority so I thought I might discuss some of that today including a disappointing moment I had at the bar Friday night. As I stated before the people here are extremely friendly which makes it easy to enjoy but you do have the occasional few people who stare at you and to be quite honest it makes you feel uncomfortable. You do not really know what it feels like to be a minority until you are in their shoes. I lived in Los Angeles for five months and it was full of many different types of races and ethnic groups but I have never been put in a situation where I have felt out numbered or out of place. When people here give me a smug look I usually smile or say dumela (hello). I feel it is my duty as a representative of the U.S. and as an international student to project a polite imagine. I think to myself that if people only encounter one American in their lifetime and it’s me I want it to be a pleasant experience and think of us as a happy culture. I will keep this in mind when I start my volunteer work tomorrow. I know many people in Athens and from home that stereotype countries, cultures, races and different types of ethnicity based on one bad experience. I don’t ever want to be that one incident to someone else so I try my best to stay positive and upbeat.

This could have all changed Friday night if I let it. Everyone from the program decided to go out to Bull and Bush, a local bar to grab some drinks and loosen up. I made the mistake of walking to the bathroom alone, as I moved toward the crowded urinal to take care of some business a local stared right at me, stepped on my foot and ran straight into me on purpose. I simply smiled and apologized even though I know I was not in the wrong. He stared at me for about ten second then walked over to his other drunken friend and yelled some profanity and pointed at me. At this time I felt scared as they began to turn back towards me so I felt it was best to leave the restroom as fast as possible and return back to my group. The rest of the night I was quite and scared so I kept to myself and only told a two people what had happened. Later on I shared this with my group and I became quite emotional and choked up. This is a new feeling for me. I have felt so safe and comfortable with the people of Botswana for the first five days of this trip should I let this one incident put my experience in jeopardy.

I know many people who stereotype or label a race or ethnic group upon one or two bad experiences and I have seen what this can do to a mans heart. I have seen the pain that sticks, the hatred that boils and the long lasting impact some people carry with them through an experience like this. I made a decision that night as I lay in bed wondering why it happened to me; the decision was that I was glad it happened to me. If it did not happen to me I would not be able to relate to everyone else in this world at one point or another. I suddenly thought back to a moment in time when I thought it would be funny to repeat a racist joke or point out someone else’s differences and I pictured myself in their shoes. We have all done things we are unproud of or wish we haven’t said or done. Granted this was probably during an immature stage I was going through or I might not have been exposed to different races yet but for the first time in my life I was on a level playing field and felt the fear many people live with everyday. It made me think what do kids of a non-white race in Athens think when they walk down the street or join a fraternity or social organization and people stare and give them all the attention knowing it’s not all positive. I can say being a minority has come with a side order of paranoia. “Life is tough, but I am tougher”. This quote reminds me of all the adversity I face and how to turn them into a positive. I will take this experience and use it to educate the people around me, to make a difference and help people realize their ignorance.

Botswana transportation, laws, life

I wanted to talk a little bit more about yesterday before I talk about the music festival. On our way back from the cultural village yesterday Karabo asked me to hitch hike with him and pay a quick visit to his sister in Game City. I learned a lot on our journey which got me thinking, citizens of Botswana do not have a large mass transit system so they rely on hitch hiking. Cars will just randomly pull to the side of the road to pick up strangers and charge five or ten pula for gas money. This is something that has been outlawed in my state and will continue to be seen as dangerous. I asked Karabo why they are able to do so and if there is a lot of crime that happens in these instances and if girls are more at risk. He informed me that girls are actually preferred and that it is very safe no matter the gender. I found this hard to believe until he went more in to depth and explained how everyone in their culture relies on their neighbor or in this instance their fellow citizens. I found it funny that a man or woman driving a benz or BMW would pull over and pick up a random person but then it hit me. Botswana has outlawed guns; their police cannot even use or possess fire arms and in their country cable is a luxury which most cannot afford.

The news they do broadcast is positive, inspiring and represent an open door policy type government. The one thing I do not miss about the states is television, time wasting, boring, over emphasized. People in Botswana will read week old papers if they cannot afford them just to know what’s going on in their country and around the world; they even send them to their families in neighboring country. I read an article the other day which stated how the president was suing the newspaper and Titus asked me if this is possible in the United States and I believe freedom of speech protects people from stating anything they want however I have never heard of a U.S. president suing anyone during office. I am not saying freedom of speech is a bad thing but to many things occur behind closed doors in our country and all we are left with is to trust that person judgment. With guns outlawed there is hardly any violence, less fear among the people and more trust as law abiding citizens in their country. I admire their honesty and respect for one another. They also believe it is a MUST to know thy neighbor, by neighbor I mean anyone around them. If they were to sit on a bus it is their duty to know the person next to them. An example of this our teacher used was the movie Open Water when a couple is left at sea because no one accounted for them while they were scuba diving, she explained how this would never happen in their society because someone would speak up and make aware than the whole party was not accounted for.

Botswana Cultural Village

Hello all,

I haven't written in the past two days because I have had no time at all. I'll try my best to discuss the most memorable and impacting memories from the past few days. Yesterday we visited the African cultural village and I must say it was very interesting. We practiced their wedding rituals and the male and female responsibilities of their culture. Now there are not any villages like this anymore however they have modernized their traditions, we practice some in our country to this day. For instance the wife and husband building a home today and also practicing their gender roles to some extent. The five elders that explained their culture were female and showed us many dances and songs they play to keep their spirits upbeat and that play into some of their rituals.

I must admit that althought all of this was very interesting the highligh of my day came when we ate lunch at the village. Chris, Karabo (from Botswana) and Titus (from Zimbabwe). We discussed their cultural similarities and differences. They both agreed they both cultures have moderinized tradition. For example the uncle's in their culture are very influential. If your father were to die or brother dies you must take over responsibilities of their families by providing food, shelter and stability. We have discussed this week that it is cultural for the uncle to ask their nieces for sexual favors and that its their uncles responsibility to approve of their neices life partners. Kabaro and Titus explained to me that this does still go on in some places but it is very uncommon. I have been curious about how their nations view people from the United States so I thought it was very valuable to me to ask what they thought about us. I was shocked when they explained how much they love the United States and how we aid other countries. I have always been under the impression that Americans are hated and that people dislike us being in other peoples business all the time. This was not the case in most circumstances. They did not approve of George W. Bush majority of the time but they still admit he did some great things while he was in office. They also mentioned how they payed more attention to the US election that took place last year and how proud they were of our country. They said people were walking around with Obama t-shirts and that most students at UB were skipping class in anticipation of our next president. Even walking to the store the other day a man selling candy on the side of the street wearing raggy torn clothes yelled "Obama is my man". They have a profound love here for our country that runs deeper than most would expect. It is a proven fact that the U.S.A. has provided more aid and help to Botswana than any other country. Althoght China is catching up by providing more schools and HIV/Aid programs. I felt relieved and a great sense of pride when Karabo and Titus explained their love for our country, what we stand for and how we provide help where help is needed.

I mentioned how rascism and hate in our country still exist and how they might be a victum of rascism and they helped me understand how you will find rascism in any country and how it is much worse in Germany, UK or any other white civiliation they have visited. They said they would rather experience rascism in the United States than by arrogant countries who majority of their people find reasons to hate those of different ethnic backgrounds. I found this fascinating and I was overwhelmed with excitement. We do stand for freedom, we are a melting pot and we are the land of opportunity. Karabo and Titus both agreed that if they were to visit Germany, UK, Ireland or any other country how their pay would be less than half of the majority race. Titus told me that he feels very confident that he could move to the United States and make six figures and I believe he could as well. Later on that day Titus and I were discussing some of our favorite authors and when I told him I was born and raised in Ohio he encouraged me to run for a high office political position. After calling me Govern Zachary Tyler a few times we laughed about the posibility. I told him that I am not cut throat enough to play that game however I would consider another position of great influence and power. Titus told me how he was next in line after his father to be chief of his city which is the biggest and most important position one can have in his village. He also explained why he would turn it down if given the opportunity, he did not want to deal with some of the day to day duties of a village with a population of 100,000 peple. Its fun to hear people dream for you yet I still believe I will do big and wonderful things with my life, we both agreed that we cannot plan what lyes ahead and ended it with that. Well I must go to lunch now but I will continue my blog upon returning from the French Music Festival that is taking place in downtown Gaborone. If you guys have any questions about the culture or anything about my experience here please feel free to leave a comment. God Bless.

18/6/09

I have many new experiences to document but only so much time. We have a welcome orientation dinner in 22 minutes so I will try to make this short and sweet and then continue with it later tonight. Nevermind I just waited until I returned. My new friends Titus, Karabo and Dan just left to go watch some futbol and I decided to stay in drink a beer and blog. First I wanted to post about our flight over here. It was very long and uncomfortable. I particularly do not like small cramped places where my size is an inconvenience. I slept for about six hours out of the eighteen hour flight. The airplane was very entertaining though with many movies, cd's and television shows on my individual screen on the back of the chair in front of me. I watched He's just not that into you and Pineapple express for the first time as well as an episode of two and a half man, listening to my ipod and reading my conversations with god book. Needless to say I kept busy and entertained.

The first day we arrived we got used to our apartment which took more time than I anticipated because I couldn't decide between the room with ants or freezing temperatures. Since then we have killed over a couple dozen cockroaches. The girls below us have it worse killing over 30 cockroaches. Now that I have most of your attention I want to take a second to point out that the stereotypes you label Africans with are mostly untrue. They have better air than we do, they dress better than 75% of Americans, they are genuine people. In fact last night on the way to the mall 20 of us walked in a group and as we passed a group of African bartering on the side of the road they became screaming "WHITE PEOPLE" and began jumping up and down with joy shaking our hands and giving us hugs. They see it as a privledge to be in our present because we are a rare sight for them. I couldn't help but wonder why is this feeling completely backwards in our country. Can you imagine me walking down Parsons Avenue and screaming black people and then running up to them with open arms, I cannot. This is how people should live though, happy and with open minds and open hearts.

The hardest adjustment for me thus far is the 3 square meals a day. For everyone who knows me I am generally a health nut however I eat beyond discomfort now and I do it without trying. I usually eat six meals a day and space out my calories but the 3 square meal method often leaves me tired and out of breath. Breakfast is usually toast, porridge and some kind of hamburger helper and eggs. The only thing I don't like about all three meals is they do not serve water with any of them. They usually serve juice and its very tasteful but thick and I think that contributes to my stomach problems. Lunch is usually at 1pm and is chicken, beef, rice, bread, cabbage and carrots. Dinner usually consist of left overs of the meat, pawpaw which is white stuff that has no taste and resembles white rice.

My favorite part of their culture is "TEA TIME". I love this concept. Let's take 15 minutes out of our day to sit down, slow our minds and discuss the day that lyes ahead. Everyone in our program looks forward to Tea Time we only wish it was followed up with a nap time. Then we could successfully call it the American way.

The guest speakers we have had come in have been very informative and eye opening as they try to prepares us to the best of their ability for what we are about to encounter in the next few weeks. Dr. V Chipfakacha discussed the myths, facts and research involved in HIV/Aids data. I loved his approach to teaching he was very upfront, blunt and all around honest. He helped us to realize that some of the problems the Africans have are cultural and traditional. He made good points asking how do we stop something when theres no cure when we cannot stop malaria which is preventable and curable? If there is one thing his lesson taught me it is that Endemics come and go. Plagues have put a large dent in societies in the past yet our species is still here.

I will be honest I found it hard to concentrate after lunch to our speaker Dr. Maundeni. I know she did research on males with HIV/Aids but I found it hard to concentrate being so tired from lunch and in dier need of a nap that I never got. After she was done I caught my second wind when the organizations came in and gave us their ten minute speel about what they do and the kind of volunteer work we would be doing. It was amazing to see how many organizations they have dedicated to HIV/Aids awareness over the past two days. This is a country with a population of only 1.8 million and they have so many organizations dedicated to fixing a cause. I found it very eye opening.

I enjoy learning Setswana and the challenge of comprehending new words and putting sentences together. It gets frustrating sitting by Mandy because she loves to correct me so that I do not make mistakes the only problem is I get frustrated when she plays teacher to me. I learn by making mistakes and figuring stuff out on my own and she just wants to help regardless we bicker a little bit during Setswana lessons. I think its funny how our class spends two hours a day learning Setswana and we immediately practice during our lunch breaks with the kitchen staff and UB janitors.

While we were at Riverwalk mall I asked Karabo about his girlfriend and his life growing up on a farm. I had no idea he had goats, cows, horses and many other animals. I found it fascinating that when he was not at school he was at home working hard on the farm. He then explained how the government pays for about 90% of the University of Botswana students to go to school. However with recent economic struggle they are no longer covered to study during winter and summer breaks. A few questions that had come to mind during some conversations about African perceptions were what Africans thought about Americans. I asked Karabo what he thought about American relationships and he voiced that he is lead to believe that the average American gets married at 16 or 17 years old. We all had a good chuckle at that one and cleared that up for him after he said thats what media has lead him to believe. He told us that people in Botswana usually get married around 26 or 27 and I told him we were about the same.

After we returned from Riverwalk that night we took a cab ride back and I struck up a conversation with the cab driver about America. He told me that the only American he had ever met taught him English back in 1992, I found that very odd but encouraging knowing that our people helped him with his English. For all of you who do not know much about Botswana and for those of you who think you do Botswana native language is Setswana however majority of the people learn english at the age of six as their second language. Well I have blogged enough for one night I will continue tomorrow if I have any time. For now I am off to go watch some futbol Egypt vs. Italy is on television. God Bless