Counseling Class with Belly Dancer

Monday morning we had our counseling class and we were supposed to have our presentations. I wasn’t nervous although I didn’t put any research into my topic “how do you become Gay or a Lesbian?” and also the politics that surround the issue. I found it funny how out of six people in my group none of them felt comfortable enough talking about Gay and Lesbian politics. Does it have anything do with the fact that it is illegal to be homosexual in Botswana. You will be punished and taken to prison if you show a homosexual act in public. Vicki taught a lesson for the first hour and a half about Trust, taking care of self before you can help others, finding underlying issues and how to deal with low self esteem. After her lecture we had our presentations and one of the girls presenting played a hypnotherapy CD for us which I found very relaxing and positive. I spoke to her afterward and asked her if she could help teach me how to hypnotize people and she agreed to give me a book and a CD that will help teach me. She also brought in a belly dancer to perform a few dances and show us how to do the movements. I have a few videos of these but it was very interesting.

I think I could find it very useful to help hypnotize people’s train of thought to erase negative thoughts and replace the things that trigger those thoughts with positive feelings and emotions.

Nanogang Secondary School

After class we ate lunch and then went to a near by school called Nanogang which is a secondary school for children fifteen to seventeen. I was extremely excited to do this because I haven’t experienced working with kids in a counseling center. At first the students were very shy and observing of our behavior. We started by saying how we felt today, who our role model at the moment is and why. I explained how Barak Obama is my biggest role model at the moment because exemplifies the kind of hope our country needs and shows the leadership qualities that I admire. I explained how I am not going to agree with everything he might do in office but I understand what his presence means to our country and other countries around the world. I was kind of shocked when going around the room how many of the Nanogang students told me their role models were American icons.

One student also said Obama is his biggest role model while others claim JayZ, T.I., Martin Luther King Jr., Beyonce and about half the class said Oparah. All of their answers were for different reasons but overall because they want to make positive impact in the world. They also had to say what they wanted to be when they grow up and many of them said lawyers, doctors, surgeons, writers and only one of about twenty of the children mentioned money as their motivation. I figured that would be the most important issue for children who grew up learning in a room that was way too small for the number of kids, no air condition for the summer when temperatures reach the hundred degree mark or who have holes in their school sweaters.

The goal of them meeting twice a week was to talk about the problems of their life and to do self development. I got the impression that a lot of these kids are already adults and that they have to be the man or woman in their household because their parents are not reliable and their siblings rely on them or they might have problems taking orders from their older sibling for that very reason. This was these kids support system. Their homework was to do a family tree and describe each family member.

It was devastating to hear these children draw a family tree with empty tree branches because their uncles, cousins, parents, brothers, sisters have passed away. They are not even allowed to say the word death, they have to say passed away and if they slip the D word they are quickly corrected. Another thing I found shocking was that majority of the kids did not know their uncles and aunts names because it is found to be improper to call them anything other than uncle or aunt. I explained how in the U.S. I call my uncle, Uncle Ed. They found this to be disrespectful in their culture. So these kids grow up surrounded by their relatives and do not even know their real first name. I would say ninety five percent of the children were raised by a single parent and many of them did not know or associate with their father. I couldn’t imagine a family tree where I did not know anyone’s name. At the end of the session we went around the room and each person had to talk about what their goals in life are and what they are doing to achieve these goals. By this time I had moved around the room and decided to sit near a very cute little girl name Faith. She was sixteen; she came from a broken home and wanted to be a lawyer when she grew up so she could protect people from being taken advantage of. Here is a picture of Faith Simon and I after our three hour session.

The first girl to speak mentioned how she wanted to write a book one day and she is taking steps by reading books and learning as much as she possibly can about writing. Another girl mentioned how she wanted to start her own orphanage. Then there was this frail little girl that was about 4’10 and couldn’t have weighed more than 100 pounds. She stood up and told the class she has already written the book and has taken it to many different publicists trying to get her book published. Her book was about violence against youth.

She is on the bottom row second person from the right (next to the boy with the white bookbag). After she mentioned this Faith leaned over and whispered in my ear that maybe I could get her book published. I told her I didn’t know any publishers or I would. It’s inspiring to see a girl who couldn’t be older than fifteen already following her dream and acting on it.

At the end of the session I told them that I wanted to have a picture with them, they were eager to get as many photos taken of them as possible. This is why they are appearing to hang all over me trying to get their face in the picture thinking that it will become popular in the United States. I hope some day I write my own book and these kids picture can be in it. They have the motivation and ability to do so much if they are just given the opportunity. My impression from what I have learned about students like this in Botswana is that most of them will try to accomplish these goals, some will find help whether it be in continuum education or someone giving them a chance at a prestigious job disappointing as it may be the fact is few will succeed. The girl to the left of me in this picture dreams of moving to America one day.

I couldn’t help but sit in this room and look around at all the children smiling and wonder which ones is HIV positive? What children here will not make it to their twenties and why it has to happen to them? When I talk to my peers about their organizations we cannot tell who has HIV and who is healthy but then you hear the occasionally story of the kid who took a half hour more to get out of bed in the orphanage after their nap. My friends who are working at a Salvation Army sight said they fed the kids lunch Monday and that they were required to bring their own bowls just to receive a serving of what looked like canned dog meat. Many of these kids brought crayon boxes and some used card board boxes. I am getting goose bumps right now thinking about these kids eating like animals and yet one child even had the decency to share the only meal he was going to eat that day with one of the volunteers from our program. Chris felt privileged and since the Salvation Army couldn’t provide enough for the volunteers he graciously accepted the Childs invitation. I understand there are still kids in the U.S. who go starving and that this is a worldwide issue my mind goes in circles when I think of an answer to world hunger. I feel this problem is not incurable but it would take a major shift in global consciousness, one that I think people in our generation or the generations ahead are ready for.

Today was by far one of the most rewarding days for me in throughout our trip. I feel like I can draw inspiration from these kids.

If I ever lack motivation I will remember back to the young girl who wrote a book and is not giving up on publishing it. I will remember a young twenty year old opening a pawn shop just to get the experience of starting his own business in hopes of owning his own company one day. This reminds me of last year when I would be working out at ping and in my head I’d complain of being tired or unmotivated and then I would look up at the track and see a young man moving as fast as he can with his arm crutches because his legs were not strong enough to stand on his own two feet. I can draw motivation to do things using other people’s strengths; this is something I have acquired over the years. I find this to be one of my truest blessings. I’m more concerned with how I am going to take this experience back to the U.S. than I am soaking it all in. I feel inhumane if I were to see the things I have seen and hear the stories I have heard not do anything about it. I know some peoples response to this is well it’s not our problem but it is. If we don’t take care of each other the end result will be worse off than the effort it takes to help one another. If your raft is sinking in open water would you throw people overboard to make it lighter for a short period of time before eventually sinking or would you collectively come up with a plan to solve the problem at hand and work together to save everyone?

My 24th Birthday

Saturday was my 24^th birthday. Where have the years gone?

If theres one thing you should know about it me its that I love celebrating my birthday so I wanted to make sure I did it up right in Africa. We hung out all day doing laundry and visiting Main Mall to buy some gifts. I treated myself to a Botswana t-shirt and a little statue. After that I decided to hand wash my laundry because its been two weeks and I needed some fresh clothes to wear to work. For dinner we went to the Grand Palm Resort as I mentioned early ate a wonderful dinner and had live music. The entertainer was very creative and amusing with his music. He played Rihanna “Under my Umbrella”, John Denver “Country Road” and Happy Birthday to me. While we were waiting for the bus to come pick us up I decided to gamble a little bit more and while we were there Clare was approached by a middle aged Chinese woman who was shocked by her beauty. She pulled her around the casino by hand desperately trying to find her husband so she could introduce her. She kept talking about how pretty her body, hair and smile were.

It was quite unusual and fascinating so I took it upon myself to ask her if I should get a picture. By this time Clare was being pushed to her limit of kindness but she knew the lady meant well. I took a picture which she wanted to see about six different times and then she left for about ten minutes. She came back with her husband and demanded I take another photo and email it to her. Its official, Clare has her own fan club now. One of the most thoughtful gifts I recieved was from our guide Karabo which was a Botswana Jersey with my Setswanna name on the back "Thabo" which means always happy.

The night was amazing and I could not imagine spending my birthday in Africa any better way.

Meeting in the Mountains

My Boss Vicki, Jen and I

When Jen and I arrived Friday to work we had to be there a half hour early which was alright but we did not know what was in store for us that day. When we arrived at the office our supervisor Vicki made it aware that we would be traveling to Mokolodi for a meeting about HIV/Aids awareness. We weren’t very enthused but remained open minded. I became very ecstatic when we pulled up to the Mokolodi Game Reserve and learned that our meeting was on the top of a mountain on a Game Reserve. We had to take a twenty minute Game Drive to get there and ended up seeing an Ostrich, Antelope, Warthog, Impala and Judo (not sure about the spelling but it resembled a buck with two very long twisty horns.) The driver was very nice and allowed us time to stop and take pictures.When we got to the top of the mountain to “World View” where the conference was being held we were left breathless.

We could see for miles, mountains, Gaborone Dam, wildlife walking around the Reservation and also rivers, houses, lakes and neighboring cities. I forget how high they said we were but the temperature differed about fifteen degrees from the bottom of the mountain to the top. I don’t know why but I decided to only wear a black dress t-shirt and my dress paints. I was freezing the entire time I was there.

Half way during the lecture I left the conference room to go find a gift shop to buy a jacket or sweat shirt and during my search I ran into a worker who asked what I was looking for. When I told him I couldn’t stand the coldness he offered me his jacket to wear and told me the gift shop is too expensive and over priced. That is just how friendly these people are that they are willing to give you the shirt off their back and ask for nothing in return. I have friends in the United States who find it troubling and provoking to give a homeless man their left over food. What does this say about how we treat strangers in the U.S., fend for yourself is what the social norm is. We are a giving country in the large scheme of things but I feel like it’s the little things that we take for granted. I plan on changing this part of my everyday life when I get back.

I want to volunteer more, learn more, teach more, inspire more and get involved more. Today when I was making my breakfast tea the back of my sugar packet had a quote on it “Be the change you want to see in the world”. This means if you want the planet to be healthier recycle. If you think there should be less homeless don’t criticize and ridicule them donate, volunteer learn why they are homeless and help them to over come it. So many times I think about how people call themselves Christians yet they are so worried about not having so they forget to give to others. Healthcare is an important example, why should people with money pay a higher premium for others who don’t have jobs to receive healthcare. Isn’t well-being a divine right? Do you think Jesus would say lets help the poor man so long as it doesn’t take away from what I have earned? Sure there are going to be people who abuse the privilege but let God deal with them in his own way don’t over generalize the poverty population because of a few. Stay open minded to the possibility and do your research.

During the conference there were many issues which were brought up that I could not understand because questions were being asked and answered in Setswana. The overall purpose of the meeting was to promote the question “Who is in your sexual network”. They want to get people thinking on a larger scheme of things. I was a little disturbed because they want you to be more aware of your partner and what they might be hiding. I was disturbed at how they presented the information. They spoke as though you should trust less and observe more of what your partner is doing. I don’t know how to tackle the rising problem of HIV/Aids but I don’t think not trusting your partner is the way to approach it. Another problem they have is promoting condom use but not how to put it on. You don’t just give a pilot a plane and don’t teach him how to fly it.

After the presentations we ate dinner overlooking the beautiful scenery. We had to wait for about an hour until a jeep came to get us but I didn’t mind. When we left Mokolodi we stopped by Game city so I could buy a jacket seeing as how it was very chilly here in the morning and evenings. During the day it got up to about 70 degrees and low of 30’s. This wasn’t how I predicted African weather to be like. It even snowed in Johannesburg, South Africa on Friday. From Game City Vicki took us to her house so that we could see where she lived. Jen and I were both shocked to see that she lived in a very large and well decorated house. She introduced her son who is about seventeen and lives in a little guest house in the back of property which has its own living room, bathroom and kitchen. The inside of here house was very eloquent and she even had her own house maid which I guess is becoming more common in Southern Africa.

Soccer

A big change I have made from the time I have left the U.S. until now is the lack of physical activity. I know they told us to continue our interest however I felt I needed a break from lifting and that I want to see this as a time of relaxing. However Karabo did bring back a passion from my childhood when he asked us to play football the second night we were here. The first time we played I was very rusty, I couldn’t shoot, dribble or pass very well. I notice every time I play more I begin getting my skill back. Now I can actually steal the ball from Karabo, dribble through defenders and can aim with accuracy. I forgot how much I loved the sport growing up and how good I was at it. Growing up it was my favorite sport and I was better at it than any other I played. I quit playing when began junior high and I remember almost trying out for the team my senior year of high school but I quickly through out the possibility when I heard rumor that the head coach would not start anyone who hasn’t played the previous year. Looking back I regret this decision and I should have faced the obstacle. When we play football here there is usually ten or twelve people from our study abroad group that play along with many other students around campus. I’ve met people from UK, Sweden, Norway, Finland, U.S. (even Ohio), Zimbabwe and locals from Botswana.

I find this very fascinating because the sport is so popular everywhere but the United States. I think this has to do with the large variety of sports in our country and that we believe in sports being linked to a season. Last night we experienced history as we watched the U.S. play Brazil in the Confederation Cup final. I was disappointed that we were unable to go seeing as how it was an epic event for us to even be playing in it for the first time. The U.S. which is ranked 14^th in the world upset Egypt and then Spain (#1 team in the world) to advance to the final. The U.S. was up 2-0 at half time but could not hold off the five time world champs to take home the glory. All morning people have talked to me about the game because they know I am from the States and they acknowledge how amazing their effort was. Our group enjoys getting out and doing something active so I can definitely see us playing a lot more soccer throughout our stay here.

Please Post Comments, Questions and Overall Feedback

Please post comments, questions and overall feedback to any of the info I am writing about so I can get a sense as to how people are responding to what I am writing.

Thank you and I will try to upload as much as I can and write as often as I can.

Thursday at Lifeline and Convo with Buemo

I haven’t written in my Journal/blog for a few days now. I find it very hard to balance time to document everything that is significant or if I should be out experiencing everything while I can. The main purpose behind keeping this is so those one day I can look back and read about my experience here and relive the moments. I feel myself changing but I can’t explain it. I feel like people will have to do that for me.

I want to talk a little about my work day on Thursday then a little from Friday and the weekend. When we arrived Thursday we were just getting ready to begin our counseling course. As usual we started a half hour late but I am convinced that the word LATE does not exist in the Botswana dictionary. I was a bit nervous because this week I had to expose myself to the group which meant pretty much sitting in front of twelve strangers and confess things that are known to others and things I keep private. By doing this it is an attempt to have others gives us feedback of how they perceive us and to tell us things we might not know about ourselves. I spoke about where I was from, some of my fears and where I want to go and where I am now as a person. The most troubling things I spoke about was how I viewed education then and how I view it now. I mentioned how I graduated high school with a 2.5 GPA and a whopping 17 ACT score. This alone made me have low self-esteem and still affects me to some extent this day but like I said I have changed my view on education. When I was seventeen and naive I just wanted to get by, I never wanted to learn about anything. I was interested in sports, girls and having fun. I have learned to balance all of these into the man I want to be today. I’m not a dumb high school kid with a low GPA and crappy test scores. I’m a masters student with two degrees who joined an honors fraternity the week before he left to visit Africa and help change those around him for the better. Sure I still make grammatical errors, use a small words but I dream big. It was probable to say my parents never thought I would turn out the way I have. I plan on getting my PhD eventually the only question I am uncertain of is what type of knowledge I would like to share with others counseling, healthcare or anything else that may come to mind. I felt nervous at first when I spoke to the group but time flew as I ended up speaking for a half hour uninterrupted. After I was done there was time for asking questions or giving me feedback. The group was quick to address that I am very intelligent and that I need to overcome my negative thoughts of which I use to be and look at what I have accomplished and where I am going. If this trip has taught me anything it’s that I have succeeded and that I need to dream even bigger. Last night I had a conversation with Buemo, a fellow worker at lifeline, and he told me he was afraid of dying. I had to stop and think about it for a second because if there’s one thing I am not afraid of it’s not death. I am afraid of not living, not experiencing all life has to offer. I want to look back and have no woulda, coulda shoulda remarks. If you let fear control your life you’re never going to get the results you want. That’s why I want to go shark diving, sky diving, travel to wine vineyards, go on game drives and eat all the exotic food I can.

I told Buemo he should not fear death because the fact of dying motivates people to live more. I explained being mortal drives us to want to experience more. Think about it. If everyone were to live on we would put off everything we could be doing right now. I love when people tell me they want to do something before they die, I usually tell them they better do it now because tomorrow is never promised today. Michael Jackson passed away two days ago from a heart attack at age fifty. When my children ask me one day where was I when Michael Jackson died I can say Gaborone, Botswana. I also got the privilege of celebrating my 24^th birthday in Africa. I called to make reservations at Grand Palm resort for twenty four people. It was a lovely dinner, the food was amazing, my new friends and professors paid for my dinner and I got to gamble a little bit. When I called to make the reservation a lady asked if it was a special occasion. I told her year we are celebrating a birthday and then she asked if they would like a cake and be sang to, of course I replied. Then she asked who was the birthday for and I told them its for me. The lady on the other end of the phone laughed hysterically for a moment and then she said Happy Birthday. I told this story to the group and everyone laughed but its no surprise to me that its my birthday and I want a piece of cake and to celebrate. We went out to a club afterwards for some dancing got a few drinks. I am very thankful to be in good company and most of all to have Mandy with me on my special occasion.

Wow I got a little off topic let me get back to Thursday. I just want to mention real quick that as I type this I am sitting on the dirt propped up against a tree waiting for my clothes to air dry since we had to hand wash them yesterday and I ran out of sunlight. A kid just passed me wearing an Ohio State t-shirt and I stopped him to ask if is a Buckeye fan, he didn’t really understand me for a second but then he was able to explain that his brother attends Ohio State University. It’s amazing how small this world can be. We are almost nine thousand miles apart yet we find something in common, his brother lives 15 minutes from me back home. As Jen and Buemo gave their presentations I learned a little about some internal thoughts they are constantly dealing with. I understand how fortunate I am that I have overcome most of the negative thoughts I have encountered in my past. One person in the group even mentioned that their girlfriend of five years recently became pregnant and he found out that the child she was carrying was that of his best friend. I was very sympathetic to his situation and how hard it must be for him to disclose this information to us but the support around him will help him to cope with the situation. After our counseling course we went to a GBEM meeting at a local school. GBEM stands for Girls Boys Education Movement. Their goal was to empower young girls and boys to make better decisions. To help them understand the decisions they make will impact the social norms of the people around them. HIV/AIDS is a very complex epidemic. The only way of changing the present behavior of the majority of their society is to start with the children. A lot of these kids are getting the education they need but not learning the morals and values they need from their parents. They had counselor and teachers from about eight different schools there and the goal of the meeting was to come up with a plan to structure how to apply the GBEM to their schools. One thing I was very impressed with during this presentation is that this program is being spear headed by college students. Their main motivation is positive change in the community. I am impressed with how much they know about the subject and their confidence to lead at such a young age. Well I must go now but I will finish everything I didn’t cover tonight and post it later so check it out.

Cultural Differences

I know I had already spoke about some of the cultural differences as far as politics, rules and transportation but I wanted to list a few more than I found interesting that people might want to know about. Botswana is 71% Christians, they believe in the bible and that Jesus was a holy savior. They feel very strongly that divorce is not the answer to a failed relationship. They have universal healthcare and education here. Everyone who needs healthcare can walk into a hospital and receive medical treatment no questions asked. You also can opt out of doing this and decide to pay for private care. Another huge factor that I find important to our differences of intellect is that education here is free and those students with the highest GPA in secondary school (high school) will be awarded with free tuition to the University of their Choice. Over 90% of students at the University of Botswana receive free tuition from the government. This also includes free dorm, meal plan and a stipend for books and living. If they decide to study abroad the government will also pay for all accommodations. There are a funny concept award people who try the hardest to educate themselves.

If there is one thing I have learned about the people of Botswana it is that they are very intelligent and are constantly seeking more knowledge. I feel as though most Americans take advantage of their education, I speak from experience because I was one of them. If this system were imposed by our government parents might encourage their kids to take their education more seriously and children might see more benefits to achieving. I met a few students from the Kansas State University and they are volunteering at Ol Nomiladi which is the poorest village in Gaborone. They told us that the teachers did not show one day and that it was up to them to teach the class. As they entered the class they asked the kids what they wanted to learn and they said “anything, teach us all you know”. I remember when I was in junior and high school I would make up fake excuses along with my friends so that we could skip out on a day of school and just watch television that is not an option for these kids. Their only means of survival is their education. Mandy spoke of a debate at the school she was volunteering at and described that kids as high achieving and very smart. She said they made cases for how our world could survive without drinking water because of our technological advances. She said she could see this particular student being a politician some day.

First day of Botswana Lifeline

Today was Jen and I first day at Botswana Lifeline and we had no idea what to expect. The anticipation was building up as we waited for the bus to come. When we arrived at Lifeline we were greeted by Ruth and Vicky who were two of the counselors. They asked us what we would like to participate in during our volunteer time and we explained how we wanted to visit a women’s shelter, hospice center and a local school or orphanage. I soon learned that hospice here is different from the term hospice back home. Hospice in Botswana operates more like an adult day care at home and also a hospital. Patients come and go and are free to go home at any time. I found it interesting that they do not have a nursing home system for their elders and that they are expected to be taken care of by their sons and daughters. I find it common in the United States that older adult population would prefer nursing homes or assisted livings so they do not become a burden upon their children.

We were allowed to join a class that was taking a closed counseling course that was already in their fourth week of lessons. This is hard to do because most closed groups do not let new outsiders in because they are already bonding as a group and have begun to develop their group dynamics so we felt it was an honor to join so late in their progress. We were greeted by the group and they went on with their lesson. They were going over a homework project of the Joharies window. Each person in the group of twelve went up in front of the class and presented a box they hand designed. Many of them had quotes they live by, colors that remind them of a past time or pictures of family. Many of the stories were deep and personal and I was moved by some of the things that had happened to them and amazed how they overcame the odds against them. I am glad we were a part of Botswana Lifeline now because we were experiencing the stories first hand of the people who have it the hardest. I felt proud that many of the people in the group were able to be where they today now that I know their background. Some overcame poverty, abuse, abandonment, lack of education, divorce and loss of loved ones. One lady even mentioned how she lost her father and then her two brothers the following year and how it felt as though it was a yearly thing to lose a family member and they had to deal with the grieving process on a yearly basis. Another woman mentioned how she had to steal a pair of her sister’s daughter’s shoes to sell so that she could afford a pair for herself.

All of these stories were deep and heart felt and forced me to come to a realization that these things happen to great people who sometimes cannot control the things around them. I find the hardest part of counseling for me will be people who are stuck and need help however help is not available. The stories became realities the moment people described their loved ones then passed around recent pictures of them before their passing, or a photo of a ideal perfect family that has fell apart. One woman broke to tears describing her love for her husband and kids and how they have left her broke and alone. I was a bit overwhelmed with the high emotion in the room but I was able to understand their need for being where they were, in a room with other people who needed support. One idea I found very neat among the group of young and middle age adults is that they wanted to meet for an extra day outside the scheduled events to organize a skill teaching day. Each student would describe each skill they have and explain how it works or is played to the group. One member suggested she will teach us how to hypnotize people, another said she would teach us yoga, there were many more examples; cricket, yoga, rugby, ect. I am excited to learn about all these new skills, techniques and games. I love this idea of people wanting to interact more and taking more time to learn about each other and to learn from each other.

I feel that television, internet and the fast pace of the U.S.A. takes away from a lot of this. Their way of life here seems so simply yet satisfying. I realize now that I would rather be doing than watching. I’d rather go outside and learn to play a game of cricket than watch a 15 minute how to video while I check my email or face book on my laptop. These are all attributes I hope to take back with me and live a simpler and more satisfying life. I feel more encouraged to not have a phone by my side at all times and when I go somewhere I will begin leaving it at home so when I’m at work I CAN FOCUS ON WORK and not be impatient to receive a text or call someone back.

Bull and Bush

I know some of you might be curious as to how I am handling being a minority so I thought I might discuss some of that today including a disappointing moment I had at the bar Friday night. As I stated before the people here are extremely friendly which makes it easy to enjoy but you do have the occasional few people who stare at you and to be quite honest it makes you feel uncomfortable. You do not really know what it feels like to be a minority until you are in their shoes. I lived in Los Angeles for five months and it was full of many different types of races and ethnic groups but I have never been put in a situation where I have felt out numbered or out of place. When people here give me a smug look I usually smile or say dumela (hello). I feel it is my duty as a representative of the U.S. and as an international student to project a polite imagine. I think to myself that if people only encounter one American in their lifetime and it’s me I want it to be a pleasant experience and think of us as a happy culture. I will keep this in mind when I start my volunteer work tomorrow. I know many people in Athens and from home that stereotype countries, cultures, races and different types of ethnicity based on one bad experience. I don’t ever want to be that one incident to someone else so I try my best to stay positive and upbeat.

This could have all changed Friday night if I let it. Everyone from the program decided to go out to Bull and Bush, a local bar to grab some drinks and loosen up. I made the mistake of walking to the bathroom alone, as I moved toward the crowded urinal to take care of some business a local stared right at me, stepped on my foot and ran straight into me on purpose. I simply smiled and apologized even though I know I was not in the wrong. He stared at me for about ten second then walked over to his other drunken friend and yelled some profanity and pointed at me. At this time I felt scared as they began to turn back towards me so I felt it was best to leave the restroom as fast as possible and return back to my group. The rest of the night I was quite and scared so I kept to myself and only told a two people what had happened. Later on I shared this with my group and I became quite emotional and choked up. This is a new feeling for me. I have felt so safe and comfortable with the people of Botswana for the first five days of this trip should I let this one incident put my experience in jeopardy.

I know many people who stereotype or label a race or ethnic group upon one or two bad experiences and I have seen what this can do to a mans heart. I have seen the pain that sticks, the hatred that boils and the long lasting impact some people carry with them through an experience like this. I made a decision that night as I lay in bed wondering why it happened to me; the decision was that I was glad it happened to me. If it did not happen to me I would not be able to relate to everyone else in this world at one point or another. I suddenly thought back to a moment in time when I thought it would be funny to repeat a racist joke or point out someone else’s differences and I pictured myself in their shoes. We have all done things we are unproud of or wish we haven’t said or done. Granted this was probably during an immature stage I was going through or I might not have been exposed to different races yet but for the first time in my life I was on a level playing field and felt the fear many people live with everyday. It made me think what do kids of a non-white race in Athens think when they walk down the street or join a fraternity or social organization and people stare and give them all the attention knowing it’s not all positive. I can say being a minority has come with a side order of paranoia. “Life is tough, but I am tougher”. This quote reminds me of all the adversity I face and how to turn them into a positive. I will take this experience and use it to educate the people around me, to make a difference and help people realize their ignorance.

Botswana transportation, laws, life

I wanted to talk a little bit more about yesterday before I talk about the music festival. On our way back from the cultural village yesterday Karabo asked me to hitch hike with him and pay a quick visit to his sister in Game City. I learned a lot on our journey which got me thinking, citizens of Botswana do not have a large mass transit system so they rely on hitch hiking. Cars will just randomly pull to the side of the road to pick up strangers and charge five or ten pula for gas money. This is something that has been outlawed in my state and will continue to be seen as dangerous. I asked Karabo why they are able to do so and if there is a lot of crime that happens in these instances and if girls are more at risk. He informed me that girls are actually preferred and that it is very safe no matter the gender. I found this hard to believe until he went more in to depth and explained how everyone in their culture relies on their neighbor or in this instance their fellow citizens. I found it funny that a man or woman driving a benz or BMW would pull over and pick up a random person but then it hit me. Botswana has outlawed guns; their police cannot even use or possess fire arms and in their country cable is a luxury which most cannot afford.

The news they do broadcast is positive, inspiring and represent an open door policy type government. The one thing I do not miss about the states is television, time wasting, boring, over emphasized. People in Botswana will read week old papers if they cannot afford them just to know what’s going on in their country and around the world; they even send them to their families in neighboring country. I read an article the other day which stated how the president was suing the newspaper and Titus asked me if this is possible in the United States and I believe freedom of speech protects people from stating anything they want however I have never heard of a U.S. president suing anyone during office. I am not saying freedom of speech is a bad thing but to many things occur behind closed doors in our country and all we are left with is to trust that person judgment. With guns outlawed there is hardly any violence, less fear among the people and more trust as law abiding citizens in their country. I admire their honesty and respect for one another. They also believe it is a MUST to know thy neighbor, by neighbor I mean anyone around them. If they were to sit on a bus it is their duty to know the person next to them. An example of this our teacher used was the movie Open Water when a couple is left at sea because no one accounted for them while they were scuba diving, she explained how this would never happen in their society because someone would speak up and make aware than the whole party was not accounted for.

Botswana Cultural Village

Hello all,

I haven't written in the past two days because I have had no time at all. I'll try my best to discuss the most memorable and impacting memories from the past few days. Yesterday we visited the African cultural village and I must say it was very interesting. We practiced their wedding rituals and the male and female responsibilities of their culture. Now there are not any villages like this anymore however they have modernized their traditions, we practice some in our country to this day. For instance the wife and husband building a home today and also practicing their gender roles to some extent. The five elders that explained their culture were female and showed us many dances and songs they play to keep their spirits upbeat and that play into some of their rituals.

I must admit that althought all of this was very interesting the highligh of my day came when we ate lunch at the village. Chris, Karabo (from Botswana) and Titus (from Zimbabwe). We discussed their cultural similarities and differences. They both agreed they both cultures have moderinized tradition. For example the uncle's in their culture are very influential. If your father were to die or brother dies you must take over responsibilities of their families by providing food, shelter and stability. We have discussed this week that it is cultural for the uncle to ask their nieces for sexual favors and that its their uncles responsibility to approve of their neices life partners. Kabaro and Titus explained to me that this does still go on in some places but it is very uncommon. I have been curious about how their nations view people from the United States so I thought it was very valuable to me to ask what they thought about us. I was shocked when they explained how much they love the United States and how we aid other countries. I have always been under the impression that Americans are hated and that people dislike us being in other peoples business all the time. This was not the case in most circumstances. They did not approve of George W. Bush majority of the time but they still admit he did some great things while he was in office. They also mentioned how they payed more attention to the US election that took place last year and how proud they were of our country. They said people were walking around with Obama t-shirts and that most students at UB were skipping class in anticipation of our next president. Even walking to the store the other day a man selling candy on the side of the street wearing raggy torn clothes yelled "Obama is my man". They have a profound love here for our country that runs deeper than most would expect. It is a proven fact that the U.S.A. has provided more aid and help to Botswana than any other country. Althoght China is catching up by providing more schools and HIV/Aid programs. I felt relieved and a great sense of pride when Karabo and Titus explained their love for our country, what we stand for and how we provide help where help is needed.

I mentioned how rascism and hate in our country still exist and how they might be a victum of rascism and they helped me understand how you will find rascism in any country and how it is much worse in Germany, UK or any other white civiliation they have visited. They said they would rather experience rascism in the United States than by arrogant countries who majority of their people find reasons to hate those of different ethnic backgrounds. I found this fascinating and I was overwhelmed with excitement. We do stand for freedom, we are a melting pot and we are the land of opportunity. Karabo and Titus both agreed that if they were to visit Germany, UK, Ireland or any other country how their pay would be less than half of the majority race. Titus told me that he feels very confident that he could move to the United States and make six figures and I believe he could as well. Later on that day Titus and I were discussing some of our favorite authors and when I told him I was born and raised in Ohio he encouraged me to run for a high office political position. After calling me Govern Zachary Tyler a few times we laughed about the posibility. I told him that I am not cut throat enough to play that game however I would consider another position of great influence and power. Titus told me how he was next in line after his father to be chief of his city which is the biggest and most important position one can have in his village. He also explained why he would turn it down if given the opportunity, he did not want to deal with some of the day to day duties of a village with a population of 100,000 peple. Its fun to hear people dream for you yet I still believe I will do big and wonderful things with my life, we both agreed that we cannot plan what lyes ahead and ended it with that. Well I must go to lunch now but I will continue my blog upon returning from the French Music Festival that is taking place in downtown Gaborone. If you guys have any questions about the culture or anything about my experience here please feel free to leave a comment. God Bless.

18/6/09

I have many new experiences to document but only so much time. We have a welcome orientation dinner in 22 minutes so I will try to make this short and sweet and then continue with it later tonight. Nevermind I just waited until I returned. My new friends Titus, Karabo and Dan just left to go watch some futbol and I decided to stay in drink a beer and blog. First I wanted to post about our flight over here. It was very long and uncomfortable. I particularly do not like small cramped places where my size is an inconvenience. I slept for about six hours out of the eighteen hour flight. The airplane was very entertaining though with many movies, cd's and television shows on my individual screen on the back of the chair in front of me. I watched He's just not that into you and Pineapple express for the first time as well as an episode of two and a half man, listening to my ipod and reading my conversations with god book. Needless to say I kept busy and entertained.

The first day we arrived we got used to our apartment which took more time than I anticipated because I couldn't decide between the room with ants or freezing temperatures. Since then we have killed over a couple dozen cockroaches. The girls below us have it worse killing over 30 cockroaches. Now that I have most of your attention I want to take a second to point out that the stereotypes you label Africans with are mostly untrue. They have better air than we do, they dress better than 75% of Americans, they are genuine people. In fact last night on the way to the mall 20 of us walked in a group and as we passed a group of African bartering on the side of the road they became screaming "WHITE PEOPLE" and began jumping up and down with joy shaking our hands and giving us hugs. They see it as a privledge to be in our present because we are a rare sight for them. I couldn't help but wonder why is this feeling completely backwards in our country. Can you imagine me walking down Parsons Avenue and screaming black people and then running up to them with open arms, I cannot. This is how people should live though, happy and with open minds and open hearts.

The hardest adjustment for me thus far is the 3 square meals a day. For everyone who knows me I am generally a health nut however I eat beyond discomfort now and I do it without trying. I usually eat six meals a day and space out my calories but the 3 square meal method often leaves me tired and out of breath. Breakfast is usually toast, porridge and some kind of hamburger helper and eggs. The only thing I don't like about all three meals is they do not serve water with any of them. They usually serve juice and its very tasteful but thick and I think that contributes to my stomach problems. Lunch is usually at 1pm and is chicken, beef, rice, bread, cabbage and carrots. Dinner usually consist of left overs of the meat, pawpaw which is white stuff that has no taste and resembles white rice.

My favorite part of their culture is "TEA TIME". I love this concept. Let's take 15 minutes out of our day to sit down, slow our minds and discuss the day that lyes ahead. Everyone in our program looks forward to Tea Time we only wish it was followed up with a nap time. Then we could successfully call it the American way.

The guest speakers we have had come in have been very informative and eye opening as they try to prepares us to the best of their ability for what we are about to encounter in the next few weeks. Dr. V Chipfakacha discussed the myths, facts and research involved in HIV/Aids data. I loved his approach to teaching he was very upfront, blunt and all around honest. He helped us to realize that some of the problems the Africans have are cultural and traditional. He made good points asking how do we stop something when theres no cure when we cannot stop malaria which is preventable and curable? If there is one thing his lesson taught me it is that Endemics come and go. Plagues have put a large dent in societies in the past yet our species is still here.

I will be honest I found it hard to concentrate after lunch to our speaker Dr. Maundeni. I know she did research on males with HIV/Aids but I found it hard to concentrate being so tired from lunch and in dier need of a nap that I never got. After she was done I caught my second wind when the organizations came in and gave us their ten minute speel about what they do and the kind of volunteer work we would be doing. It was amazing to see how many organizations they have dedicated to HIV/Aids awareness over the past two days. This is a country with a population of only 1.8 million and they have so many organizations dedicated to fixing a cause. I found it very eye opening.

I enjoy learning Setswana and the challenge of comprehending new words and putting sentences together. It gets frustrating sitting by Mandy because she loves to correct me so that I do not make mistakes the only problem is I get frustrated when she plays teacher to me. I learn by making mistakes and figuring stuff out on my own and she just wants to help regardless we bicker a little bit during Setswana lessons. I think its funny how our class spends two hours a day learning Setswana and we immediately practice during our lunch breaks with the kitchen staff and UB janitors.

While we were at Riverwalk mall I asked Karabo about his girlfriend and his life growing up on a farm. I had no idea he had goats, cows, horses and many other animals. I found it fascinating that when he was not at school he was at home working hard on the farm. He then explained how the government pays for about 90% of the University of Botswana students to go to school. However with recent economic struggle they are no longer covered to study during winter and summer breaks. A few questions that had come to mind during some conversations about African perceptions were what Africans thought about Americans. I asked Karabo what he thought about American relationships and he voiced that he is lead to believe that the average American gets married at 16 or 17 years old. We all had a good chuckle at that one and cleared that up for him after he said thats what media has lead him to believe. He told us that people in Botswana usually get married around 26 or 27 and I told him we were about the same.

After we returned from Riverwalk that night we took a cab ride back and I struck up a conversation with the cab driver about America. He told me that the only American he had ever met taught him English back in 1992, I found that very odd but encouraging knowing that our people helped him with his English. For all of you who do not know much about Botswana and for those of you who think you do Botswana native language is Setswana however majority of the people learn english at the age of six as their second language. Well I have blogged enough for one night I will continue tomorrow if I have any time. For now I am off to go watch some futbol Egypt vs. Italy is on television. God Bless

First few days in Botswana

6/16/09

We have to write a journal for our study abroad program so I am going to include this in my personal journal as well. Right now I am in Gaborone, Botswana. This is my first time to Africa in my entire life and I must say I have learned more about communication between human beings more here than anywhere else I have ever been. I am shocked that the entire culture is surrounded around communicating. They have breakfast, lunch and dinner together and usually have tea time around 10am which is a short break to relax and talk about whatever is on their mind. I could not imagine tea time happening in America because the first time we would try it about half the population would probably ask for the tea to go so they could keep up with the rat race. It was nice to take fifteen minutes to yourself and not feel rushed to finish the day.

I can honestly admit the thing I was scared about most was being discriminated against and I was shocked yet happy to realize that the people of Botswana are the most kind and carry people I have encountered. Our two guides for the week, Thota and Karabo are wonderful. They want us to get the best experience possible and they want to include everyone in the program, this is the vibe I get from most people from Botswana. They care so much about everyone that their only worries come from the dissatisfaction of others. I hope the people are the same in the city and around the country as they are here at the University of Botswana. Our two professors and Setswana instructor are very supportive and encouraging and make this experience very care free and exciting.

The food is a little better than I expected. I like that they do not use much condiments and that they love eating meat. The only thing I find a bit uncomfortable is not having water to wash down my food. I asked one of the cooks for water but they said it was unavailable. I have had stomach cramps after eating almost all my meals and I think this might be because of overeating, their serving sizes are double what I am used to and I feel like I do not want to insult them by not eating their food. I found the beef very fulfilling but I think the chicken contributes to my stomach aches. Most of the beer here is pretty good although I find the most tasteful beers are made from a mixture of cider.

I am anxious to leave campus and learn more about my surroundings. I think this Friday we are visiting villages around Gaborone and I am eager to learn more about the culture outside of campus territory. I want to experience some of the poverty that surrounds the city and see for my own eyes how much worse they have it than I do. I believe this will make me become more humble and give me the exposure to a new outlook on life.

After our orientation and Setswana lessons Karabo offered to take some of us down to the university soccer fields, volleyball and basketball courts. About twelve of us went and played volleyball then basketball and we had a blast. We enjoyed getting out of the dorm and running around a bit and watching Karabo play a sport that he feels very passionately about. We all agreed that we must go back and do this a couple of times a week.