Counseling Class with Belly Dancer

Monday morning we had our counseling class and we were supposed to have our presentations. I wasn’t nervous although I didn’t put any research into my topic “how do you become Gay or a Lesbian?” and also the politics that surround the issue. I found it funny how out of six people in my group none of them felt comfortable enough talking about Gay and Lesbian politics. Does it have anything do with the fact that it is illegal to be homosexual in Botswana. You will be punished and taken to prison if you show a homosexual act in public. Vicki taught a lesson for the first hour and a half about Trust, taking care of self before you can help others, finding underlying issues and how to deal with low self esteem. After her lecture we had our presentations and one of the girls presenting played a hypnotherapy CD for us which I found very relaxing and positive. I spoke to her afterward and asked her if she could help teach me how to hypnotize people and she agreed to give me a book and a CD that will help teach me. She also brought in a belly dancer to perform a few dances and show us how to do the movements. I have a few videos of these but it was very interesting.

I think I could find it very useful to help hypnotize people’s train of thought to erase negative thoughts and replace the things that trigger those thoughts with positive feelings and emotions.

Nanogang Secondary School

After class we ate lunch and then went to a near by school called Nanogang which is a secondary school for children fifteen to seventeen. I was extremely excited to do this because I haven’t experienced working with kids in a counseling center. At first the students were very shy and observing of our behavior. We started by saying how we felt today, who our role model at the moment is and why. I explained how Barak Obama is my biggest role model at the moment because exemplifies the kind of hope our country needs and shows the leadership qualities that I admire. I explained how I am not going to agree with everything he might do in office but I understand what his presence means to our country and other countries around the world. I was kind of shocked when going around the room how many of the Nanogang students told me their role models were American icons.

One student also said Obama is his biggest role model while others claim JayZ, T.I., Martin Luther King Jr., Beyonce and about half the class said Oparah. All of their answers were for different reasons but overall because they want to make positive impact in the world. They also had to say what they wanted to be when they grow up and many of them said lawyers, doctors, surgeons, writers and only one of about twenty of the children mentioned money as their motivation. I figured that would be the most important issue for children who grew up learning in a room that was way too small for the number of kids, no air condition for the summer when temperatures reach the hundred degree mark or who have holes in their school sweaters.

The goal of them meeting twice a week was to talk about the problems of their life and to do self development. I got the impression that a lot of these kids are already adults and that they have to be the man or woman in their household because their parents are not reliable and their siblings rely on them or they might have problems taking orders from their older sibling for that very reason. This was these kids support system. Their homework was to do a family tree and describe each family member.

It was devastating to hear these children draw a family tree with empty tree branches because their uncles, cousins, parents, brothers, sisters have passed away. They are not even allowed to say the word death, they have to say passed away and if they slip the D word they are quickly corrected. Another thing I found shocking was that majority of the kids did not know their uncles and aunts names because it is found to be improper to call them anything other than uncle or aunt. I explained how in the U.S. I call my uncle, Uncle Ed. They found this to be disrespectful in their culture. So these kids grow up surrounded by their relatives and do not even know their real first name. I would say ninety five percent of the children were raised by a single parent and many of them did not know or associate with their father. I couldn’t imagine a family tree where I did not know anyone’s name. At the end of the session we went around the room and each person had to talk about what their goals in life are and what they are doing to achieve these goals. By this time I had moved around the room and decided to sit near a very cute little girl name Faith. She was sixteen; she came from a broken home and wanted to be a lawyer when she grew up so she could protect people from being taken advantage of. Here is a picture of Faith Simon and I after our three hour session.

The first girl to speak mentioned how she wanted to write a book one day and she is taking steps by reading books and learning as much as she possibly can about writing. Another girl mentioned how she wanted to start her own orphanage. Then there was this frail little girl that was about 4’10 and couldn’t have weighed more than 100 pounds. She stood up and told the class she has already written the book and has taken it to many different publicists trying to get her book published. Her book was about violence against youth.

She is on the bottom row second person from the right (next to the boy with the white bookbag). After she mentioned this Faith leaned over and whispered in my ear that maybe I could get her book published. I told her I didn’t know any publishers or I would. It’s inspiring to see a girl who couldn’t be older than fifteen already following her dream and acting on it.

At the end of the session I told them that I wanted to have a picture with them, they were eager to get as many photos taken of them as possible. This is why they are appearing to hang all over me trying to get their face in the picture thinking that it will become popular in the United States. I hope some day I write my own book and these kids picture can be in it. They have the motivation and ability to do so much if they are just given the opportunity. My impression from what I have learned about students like this in Botswana is that most of them will try to accomplish these goals, some will find help whether it be in continuum education or someone giving them a chance at a prestigious job disappointing as it may be the fact is few will succeed. The girl to the left of me in this picture dreams of moving to America one day.

I couldn’t help but sit in this room and look around at all the children smiling and wonder which ones is HIV positive? What children here will not make it to their twenties and why it has to happen to them? When I talk to my peers about their organizations we cannot tell who has HIV and who is healthy but then you hear the occasionally story of the kid who took a half hour more to get out of bed in the orphanage after their nap. My friends who are working at a Salvation Army sight said they fed the kids lunch Monday and that they were required to bring their own bowls just to receive a serving of what looked like canned dog meat. Many of these kids brought crayon boxes and some used card board boxes. I am getting goose bumps right now thinking about these kids eating like animals and yet one child even had the decency to share the only meal he was going to eat that day with one of the volunteers from our program. Chris felt privileged and since the Salvation Army couldn’t provide enough for the volunteers he graciously accepted the Childs invitation. I understand there are still kids in the U.S. who go starving and that this is a worldwide issue my mind goes in circles when I think of an answer to world hunger. I feel this problem is not incurable but it would take a major shift in global consciousness, one that I think people in our generation or the generations ahead are ready for.

Today was by far one of the most rewarding days for me in throughout our trip. I feel like I can draw inspiration from these kids.

If I ever lack motivation I will remember back to the young girl who wrote a book and is not giving up on publishing it. I will remember a young twenty year old opening a pawn shop just to get the experience of starting his own business in hopes of owning his own company one day. This reminds me of last year when I would be working out at ping and in my head I’d complain of being tired or unmotivated and then I would look up at the track and see a young man moving as fast as he can with his arm crutches because his legs were not strong enough to stand on his own two feet. I can draw motivation to do things using other people’s strengths; this is something I have acquired over the years. I find this to be one of my truest blessings. I’m more concerned with how I am going to take this experience back to the U.S. than I am soaking it all in. I feel inhumane if I were to see the things I have seen and hear the stories I have heard not do anything about it. I know some peoples response to this is well it’s not our problem but it is. If we don’t take care of each other the end result will be worse off than the effort it takes to help one another. If your raft is sinking in open water would you throw people overboard to make it lighter for a short period of time before eventually sinking or would you collectively come up with a plan to solve the problem at hand and work together to save everyone?

My 24th Birthday

Saturday was my 24^th birthday. Where have the years gone?

If theres one thing you should know about it me its that I love celebrating my birthday so I wanted to make sure I did it up right in Africa. We hung out all day doing laundry and visiting Main Mall to buy some gifts. I treated myself to a Botswana t-shirt and a little statue. After that I decided to hand wash my laundry because its been two weeks and I needed some fresh clothes to wear to work. For dinner we went to the Grand Palm Resort as I mentioned early ate a wonderful dinner and had live music. The entertainer was very creative and amusing with his music. He played Rihanna “Under my Umbrella”, John Denver “Country Road” and Happy Birthday to me. While we were waiting for the bus to come pick us up I decided to gamble a little bit more and while we were there Clare was approached by a middle aged Chinese woman who was shocked by her beauty. She pulled her around the casino by hand desperately trying to find her husband so she could introduce her. She kept talking about how pretty her body, hair and smile were.

It was quite unusual and fascinating so I took it upon myself to ask her if I should get a picture. By this time Clare was being pushed to her limit of kindness but she knew the lady meant well. I took a picture which she wanted to see about six different times and then she left for about ten minutes. She came back with her husband and demanded I take another photo and email it to her. Its official, Clare has her own fan club now. One of the most thoughtful gifts I recieved was from our guide Karabo which was a Botswana Jersey with my Setswanna name on the back "Thabo" which means always happy.

The night was amazing and I could not imagine spending my birthday in Africa any better way.

Meeting in the Mountains

My Boss Vicki, Jen and I

When Jen and I arrived Friday to work we had to be there a half hour early which was alright but we did not know what was in store for us that day. When we arrived at the office our supervisor Vicki made it aware that we would be traveling to Mokolodi for a meeting about HIV/Aids awareness. We weren’t very enthused but remained open minded. I became very ecstatic when we pulled up to the Mokolodi Game Reserve and learned that our meeting was on the top of a mountain on a Game Reserve. We had to take a twenty minute Game Drive to get there and ended up seeing an Ostrich, Antelope, Warthog, Impala and Judo (not sure about the spelling but it resembled a buck with two very long twisty horns.) The driver was very nice and allowed us time to stop and take pictures.When we got to the top of the mountain to “World View” where the conference was being held we were left breathless.

We could see for miles, mountains, Gaborone Dam, wildlife walking around the Reservation and also rivers, houses, lakes and neighboring cities. I forget how high they said we were but the temperature differed about fifteen degrees from the bottom of the mountain to the top. I don’t know why but I decided to only wear a black dress t-shirt and my dress paints. I was freezing the entire time I was there.

Half way during the lecture I left the conference room to go find a gift shop to buy a jacket or sweat shirt and during my search I ran into a worker who asked what I was looking for. When I told him I couldn’t stand the coldness he offered me his jacket to wear and told me the gift shop is too expensive and over priced. That is just how friendly these people are that they are willing to give you the shirt off their back and ask for nothing in return. I have friends in the United States who find it troubling and provoking to give a homeless man their left over food. What does this say about how we treat strangers in the U.S., fend for yourself is what the social norm is. We are a giving country in the large scheme of things but I feel like it’s the little things that we take for granted. I plan on changing this part of my everyday life when I get back.

I want to volunteer more, learn more, teach more, inspire more and get involved more. Today when I was making my breakfast tea the back of my sugar packet had a quote on it “Be the change you want to see in the world”. This means if you want the planet to be healthier recycle. If you think there should be less homeless don’t criticize and ridicule them donate, volunteer learn why they are homeless and help them to over come it. So many times I think about how people call themselves Christians yet they are so worried about not having so they forget to give to others. Healthcare is an important example, why should people with money pay a higher premium for others who don’t have jobs to receive healthcare. Isn’t well-being a divine right? Do you think Jesus would say lets help the poor man so long as it doesn’t take away from what I have earned? Sure there are going to be people who abuse the privilege but let God deal with them in his own way don’t over generalize the poverty population because of a few. Stay open minded to the possibility and do your research.

During the conference there were many issues which were brought up that I could not understand because questions were being asked and answered in Setswana. The overall purpose of the meeting was to promote the question “Who is in your sexual network”. They want to get people thinking on a larger scheme of things. I was a little disturbed because they want you to be more aware of your partner and what they might be hiding. I was disturbed at how they presented the information. They spoke as though you should trust less and observe more of what your partner is doing. I don’t know how to tackle the rising problem of HIV/Aids but I don’t think not trusting your partner is the way to approach it. Another problem they have is promoting condom use but not how to put it on. You don’t just give a pilot a plane and don’t teach him how to fly it.

After the presentations we ate dinner overlooking the beautiful scenery. We had to wait for about an hour until a jeep came to get us but I didn’t mind. When we left Mokolodi we stopped by Game city so I could buy a jacket seeing as how it was very chilly here in the morning and evenings. During the day it got up to about 70 degrees and low of 30’s. This wasn’t how I predicted African weather to be like. It even snowed in Johannesburg, South Africa on Friday. From Game City Vicki took us to her house so that we could see where she lived. Jen and I were both shocked to see that she lived in a very large and well decorated house. She introduced her son who is about seventeen and lives in a little guest house in the back of property which has its own living room, bathroom and kitchen. The inside of here house was very eloquent and she even had her own house maid which I guess is becoming more common in Southern Africa.

Soccer

A big change I have made from the time I have left the U.S. until now is the lack of physical activity. I know they told us to continue our interest however I felt I needed a break from lifting and that I want to see this as a time of relaxing. However Karabo did bring back a passion from my childhood when he asked us to play football the second night we were here. The first time we played I was very rusty, I couldn’t shoot, dribble or pass very well. I notice every time I play more I begin getting my skill back. Now I can actually steal the ball from Karabo, dribble through defenders and can aim with accuracy. I forgot how much I loved the sport growing up and how good I was at it. Growing up it was my favorite sport and I was better at it than any other I played. I quit playing when began junior high and I remember almost trying out for the team my senior year of high school but I quickly through out the possibility when I heard rumor that the head coach would not start anyone who hasn’t played the previous year. Looking back I regret this decision and I should have faced the obstacle. When we play football here there is usually ten or twelve people from our study abroad group that play along with many other students around campus. I’ve met people from UK, Sweden, Norway, Finland, U.S. (even Ohio), Zimbabwe and locals from Botswana.

I find this very fascinating because the sport is so popular everywhere but the United States. I think this has to do with the large variety of sports in our country and that we believe in sports being linked to a season. Last night we experienced history as we watched the U.S. play Brazil in the Confederation Cup final. I was disappointed that we were unable to go seeing as how it was an epic event for us to even be playing in it for the first time. The U.S. which is ranked 14^th in the world upset Egypt and then Spain (#1 team in the world) to advance to the final. The U.S. was up 2-0 at half time but could not hold off the five time world champs to take home the glory. All morning people have talked to me about the game because they know I am from the States and they acknowledge how amazing their effort was. Our group enjoys getting out and doing something active so I can definitely see us playing a lot more soccer throughout our stay here.

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Thursday at Lifeline and Convo with Buemo

I haven’t written in my Journal/blog for a few days now. I find it very hard to balance time to document everything that is significant or if I should be out experiencing everything while I can. The main purpose behind keeping this is so those one day I can look back and read about my experience here and relive the moments. I feel myself changing but I can’t explain it. I feel like people will have to do that for me.

I want to talk a little about my work day on Thursday then a little from Friday and the weekend. When we arrived Thursday we were just getting ready to begin our counseling course. As usual we started a half hour late but I am convinced that the word LATE does not exist in the Botswana dictionary. I was a bit nervous because this week I had to expose myself to the group which meant pretty much sitting in front of twelve strangers and confess things that are known to others and things I keep private. By doing this it is an attempt to have others gives us feedback of how they perceive us and to tell us things we might not know about ourselves. I spoke about where I was from, some of my fears and where I want to go and where I am now as a person. The most troubling things I spoke about was how I viewed education then and how I view it now. I mentioned how I graduated high school with a 2.5 GPA and a whopping 17 ACT score. This alone made me have low self-esteem and still affects me to some extent this day but like I said I have changed my view on education. When I was seventeen and naive I just wanted to get by, I never wanted to learn about anything. I was interested in sports, girls and having fun. I have learned to balance all of these into the man I want to be today. I’m not a dumb high school kid with a low GPA and crappy test scores. I’m a masters student with two degrees who joined an honors fraternity the week before he left to visit Africa and help change those around him for the better. Sure I still make grammatical errors, use a small words but I dream big. It was probable to say my parents never thought I would turn out the way I have. I plan on getting my PhD eventually the only question I am uncertain of is what type of knowledge I would like to share with others counseling, healthcare or anything else that may come to mind. I felt nervous at first when I spoke to the group but time flew as I ended up speaking for a half hour uninterrupted. After I was done there was time for asking questions or giving me feedback. The group was quick to address that I am very intelligent and that I need to overcome my negative thoughts of which I use to be and look at what I have accomplished and where I am going. If this trip has taught me anything it’s that I have succeeded and that I need to dream even bigger. Last night I had a conversation with Buemo, a fellow worker at lifeline, and he told me he was afraid of dying. I had to stop and think about it for a second because if there’s one thing I am not afraid of it’s not death. I am afraid of not living, not experiencing all life has to offer. I want to look back and have no woulda, coulda shoulda remarks. If you let fear control your life you’re never going to get the results you want. That’s why I want to go shark diving, sky diving, travel to wine vineyards, go on game drives and eat all the exotic food I can.

I told Buemo he should not fear death because the fact of dying motivates people to live more. I explained being mortal drives us to want to experience more. Think about it. If everyone were to live on we would put off everything we could be doing right now. I love when people tell me they want to do something before they die, I usually tell them they better do it now because tomorrow is never promised today. Michael Jackson passed away two days ago from a heart attack at age fifty. When my children ask me one day where was I when Michael Jackson died I can say Gaborone, Botswana. I also got the privilege of celebrating my 24^th birthday in Africa. I called to make reservations at Grand Palm resort for twenty four people. It was a lovely dinner, the food was amazing, my new friends and professors paid for my dinner and I got to gamble a little bit. When I called to make the reservation a lady asked if it was a special occasion. I told her year we are celebrating a birthday and then she asked if they would like a cake and be sang to, of course I replied. Then she asked who was the birthday for and I told them its for me. The lady on the other end of the phone laughed hysterically for a moment and then she said Happy Birthday. I told this story to the group and everyone laughed but its no surprise to me that its my birthday and I want a piece of cake and to celebrate. We went out to a club afterwards for some dancing got a few drinks. I am very thankful to be in good company and most of all to have Mandy with me on my special occasion.

Wow I got a little off topic let me get back to Thursday. I just want to mention real quick that as I type this I am sitting on the dirt propped up against a tree waiting for my clothes to air dry since we had to hand wash them yesterday and I ran out of sunlight. A kid just passed me wearing an Ohio State t-shirt and I stopped him to ask if is a Buckeye fan, he didn’t really understand me for a second but then he was able to explain that his brother attends Ohio State University. It’s amazing how small this world can be. We are almost nine thousand miles apart yet we find something in common, his brother lives 15 minutes from me back home. As Jen and Buemo gave their presentations I learned a little about some internal thoughts they are constantly dealing with. I understand how fortunate I am that I have overcome most of the negative thoughts I have encountered in my past. One person in the group even mentioned that their girlfriend of five years recently became pregnant and he found out that the child she was carrying was that of his best friend. I was very sympathetic to his situation and how hard it must be for him to disclose this information to us but the support around him will help him to cope with the situation. After our counseling course we went to a GBEM meeting at a local school. GBEM stands for Girls Boys Education Movement. Their goal was to empower young girls and boys to make better decisions. To help them understand the decisions they make will impact the social norms of the people around them. HIV/AIDS is a very complex epidemic. The only way of changing the present behavior of the majority of their society is to start with the children. A lot of these kids are getting the education they need but not learning the morals and values they need from their parents. They had counselor and teachers from about eight different schools there and the goal of the meeting was to come up with a plan to structure how to apply the GBEM to their schools. One thing I was very impressed with during this presentation is that this program is being spear headed by college students. Their main motivation is positive change in the community. I am impressed with how much they know about the subject and their confidence to lead at such a young age. Well I must go now but I will finish everything I didn’t cover tonight and post it later so check it out.